Original post was supposed to be sardonic...

EVERYBODY claims they’ll buy one if it “just came with a manual” but few ever do.

Were we raised by the same parents?

What do you mean? It’s just try’na chill, man.

The fact is that you can die from someone else’s ignorance a lot easier on a bike than in a car. 

Not to mention that my craigslist interactions are less frustrating than HD dealer interactions. Which is pretty damning.

Here are two policies that you should follow.

Avatar is unique amongst all movies because I can’t recall a movie that ever made a splash THAT big only to be almost universally completely forgotten within a year. Like I remember a few months where it was as prominent as any Star Wars or Marvel movie has been since. Shattered box office records. Then suddenly, a…

Here is a 62k fanfic based on the late 1950s Chuck Connors western series The Rifleman

I know it made a ton of money, but is anyone clamoring for more Avatar movies?  It is the most forgettable, least re-watchable blockbuster maybe ever.

Who came up with that Sheeple commercial, the Infowars staff?!

Exactly. Honestly American and Japanese car trims and options are way more confusing to me.

So much this. Those Porsche “experience consultants” are very very good at helping you specify the Porsche of your dreams or your budget-whichever is larger. And if you can’t figure out the model breakdowns-you probably can’t afford one anyway.

No, I’ve owned quite a few cars and looked at, driven, probably a hundred and I think Mercedes and Jags have so many configurations, options and packages it’ll make your head swim. I don’t think any two are the same just as no two 911's are the same.

I can’t wait for Doug Demuro to find it’s features and quirks.

Actually dipshit, you don’t know that since you’ve never seen his tax return. Oh wait! Let’s just assume he’s telling the truth, since he has a history of not lying! Oh wait! There’s this!

How about free cars. 

I had an aunt with a Roadmaster with a DE sticker. Even as someone who would err on the side of caution with stickers that was cool.

I'm pretty left wing and the Apple logo makes me twitch in anger. Blame my work computers.

Chaotic good vs Chaotic evil?

...and egg shaped FWD CUVs.