tohavalforp--disqus
Prof. Lava Hot
tohavalforp--disqus

A better than D+ score on AVC for an evangelical film? Jesus Christ, it's a miracle.

I always keep Emergency Vodka handy in case Mormon missionaries show up. Or because I'm an alcoholic.

That's not even in the top 20 of drunk-at-a-kid's-waterpark stories I've heard. Most of them result in sex offender registration.

I will resist the "your mom" joke.

I love the fuck out of Donal Logue, so nice bonus having him here.

I would joke about Stallone being old, but he probably could still pack a wollop. Perhaps 1.5-3 wollops.

It certainly captured the post-9/11 world ahead of schedule.

Let Mr. Snipes have his moment in the spotlight, please.

That name sounds very boy bandy.

"Except me!"-every mediocre director of the 21st century

Blackjack vs. The Ku Klux Klan!

I feel like this is one of those copyright traps non-fiction creations like dictionaries and Trivial Pursuit make up just to identify people who lift their text unattributed.

It is the 90s-est movie possible, hence all the Dan Cortese.

Not to be confused with Cana-bus, the public transportation system for Canadians.

So, this is the closest thing we'll get to more Hammer horror films?

I've always wanted to see a movie where the system reads the first password guess and say "Close Enough" and lets them in.

You know, I always wanted to be an architect.

or the Catholic Church?

Dee Barnes wasn't consulted for this article.

That's at least 50 in actress years.