I was about to say the same. Good thing it wasn't a '70. Those are my favorite.
Mud in SoCal is made of clay basically. It's not as wet as east coast mud. I hear cat litter works well in ice situations. If all else fails at least you can kill time by building a sand castle while you wait for the tow truck.
So the moral of the story is... if you're an unsafe driver or otherwise intentionally hitting pedestrians... get a classic car with metal bumpers if you don't want to get caught.
You're going to get a high mileage, rough shape Impreza for that money - but parts to get it tip top are abundant and inexpensive.