I feel exactly the way you did about being a bride and made many of the same choices you did, the only divergence being I ultimately didn’t take my husband’s name nor did I wear a veil (more an aesthetic choice). There were many other issues at play besides my feminism, though that was chief, but he also comes from a…

I don’t want him to take my last name. That would be so weird! Especially because we’re not from the same country and his name is such an ethnic identifier. I don’t want to - and haven’t - taken his name either, by the way! Can we just not take anyone’s names? Like they do in Hispanic naming culture?

I know what you mean, but the most miserable people I’ve ever met were the richest as children with fucked up family lives and awful parents. Money can’t fix everything. Source: went to a private, “elite” liberal arts college in New England and married a poor foreigner with an awesome mom.

elaborate please!?

I actually didn’t really know that, which is surprising! I have a ton of Jewish friends growing up on Long Island, but in hindsight it makes sense thinking about the more “Jewish towns” on the island. Interesting!

I had forgotten about that! Yes, exactly.

This is kind of a thing among Italian-Americans in the northeast. They are super, super sensitive to the guido stereotype and make pains to separate themselves from those who buy into it too much.

Unfortunately I’ve been kidnapped- my husband is actually, literally from Barcelona so I am a big time Barca supporter and don’t keep up with the rest. I would be a Roma supporter though, above all.

Nah, not even.

I’m italian-American from NY, as is my mother and her family. We never called it gravy becuase, as she put it, “we’re not THOSE kinds of Italians”. There’s a sharp guido/non-guido identifying divide in NY Italian Americans. So, in conclusion, I agree with your entire post.

don’t forget My Morning Jacket, dad! Their new album is fantastic. Wilco’s latest was excellent as well.

I am a HOM and I use clarifying shampoo 3x a week, normal shampoo the other days, and only use conditioner below my nose/chin line. Never, ever on the scalp. It’s not a cure-all but it definitely alleviates oil overkill. Hope that helps!

“won’t you want to feel connected to your kids”

Mrs. Husbandsfirstname Husbandslastname makes me so stabby and emotional and angry. I correct people who address things to us in that manner, and I have no problem dying on that hill or being a pain in the ass. I am nice about it though, and if asked about it BEFORE being addressed (like an address request for wedding…

so your kids have two un-hyphenated last names? We’re hoping to do that in the future, just wasn’t sure if it was possible. (my husband is Spanish and we want to legally use Spanish naming traditions while socially probably just let the kids use his one last name).

this is our problem as well, specifically also because my husband is Spanish (I’m American) and we need them to have two last names for their Spanish citizenship. All Spaniards have two last names - the first is their dad’s first last name, and their second is their mom’s first last name. So, we’ll legally hyphenate…

I can’t wait until they have kids to influence with their witchery, and I don’t even know them! That sounds beyond frustrating, though. I am lucky to have parents who were kind of surprised at first, and then were totally on board. Even my 91 year-old grandma, who was like “yeah, you don’t need to do that anymore.…

It drives me crazy. I honestly am kind of a bitch about it and have no problem politely responding and saying by the way, I prefer to be referred to as “Ms. xxxxx”. People probably think I’m a bra-burning pain in the ass but you know what? I don’t really mind dying on that hill. I am also very clear in responding to…

Ugh, I know you’re obviously making a joke but I feel that way sometimes about keeping my own name. People are downright fucking SCANDALIZED. Even people who should at least be able to understand it, if not be interested in it themselves. And I live in and come from more “liberal” parts of the US!

Yeah, I didn’t get the age well bit. Why must a woman become “deep” in order to “age well”?