He’s kind of sexy, and I say that as a half-Mexican who doesn’t date Mexicans.

or, “You did a shoddy job, I ain’t fucken payin you!”

I wonder if he says “bitchen” too?

Same. I have a friend who does this too and it gets me every time.

This is the darkest timeline. I’m wearing a mustache in honor of it.

for some reason I’m really enjoying that he spelled it ‘fucken.’

It would be poetic justice if he starts building the fucken wall, asks Mexico for payment, then Mexico says “We don’t need to pay you; you got paid in so much publicity, believe me. You made so much!” the way Trump talks to his creditors.

The ‘late’ James E Reilly returned? Behind-the-scenes plot twist!

“paultoes, you’re gonna want to take that back. Or you will be meeting me behind the Vo-Tech storage shed after school.”

“R. Kelly (Male Kelly) Takes the piss out of the other Kellies”

But look at her dumb hair.

Days has worked hard to get cancelled the last several years. They have killed off legacy characters in order to get a brief ratings bump. They never recovered from the mistake of letting the late James E. Reilly return as head writer and ruin several characters.

Don’t worry, Days of Our Lives will come back from the dead only to find out that Megyn Kelly is fucking its evil twin.

Author’s Note: I spent several minutes attempting to write more clever headlines such as “Like Sands Through the Hourglass, So Might Megyn Kelly Be Responsible For the Cancelation of Days of Our Lives,” and “Like Sands Through the Hourglass, So Are the Days Numbered For Days of Our Lives,” but ultimately decided to go…

I have an idea for her daytime show:

Noooooooooooo! As someone who still tapes Days every day and has been for the past 10 years, this disappoints me greatly. If only Stefano DiMera could kidnap her and send her to an island and replace her with a secret twin who isn’t in to reading the news.

It’s from “Emergency!: True Stories From The Nation’s ERs” by Mark Brown, an ER doc in CA. He compiled and published this in the mid-late 1990s after soliciting stories from hundreds of hospitals around the nation. (Oh, the halcyon days before Teh Interwebs!) My mom worked with him for years, and a few of her stories…

I’m just so mortified that I know I’m having nightmares tonight.

They should have put it in a jar of formaldehyde and put it beside his bed for when he woke up.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO