LOL. Good one, bedbug. And I worked for the Justice League! I was the one who bought the Martian Manhunter his oreos! What things did YOU do at YOUR made-up job? Besides hide under pillows, I mean.

Whew! Looks like I dodged a bullet of canceraids!

You’re the first, bedbug!

Did I hurt your feelings, bedbug? Are you gonna quit Kinja? Why don’t you write Tucker Carlson and tell him I was mean to you?

Exactly this, although I’m not sure what you find morally unpleasant about the junkyard scene. Apart from the (totally believable, especially for the times) homophobia, I’m not sure what would be immoral about it.

Twitter is also were I find some of the porn I used to get on tumblr. So, it does, in fact, serve a useful function.

Is that sarcasm, bedbug?

Sorry, bedbug.

But...that was just something he dreamed.

The junkyard scene is actually a not bad recreation of mutual sexual discovery in boys. Check with any boy who’s been to boarding school, and you’ll probably find a similar story. Outside the fact that both the boys in the book are sociopaths, there’s nothing particularly disquieting about it.

Hope it’s more elderly women shoving young guy’s asses while they’re fucking a beautiful girl in a roomful of strangers!

No one gave a shit about Guardians of the Galaxy, either.

As I’ve said before, when I found out Angelina Jolie was going to be in Eternals, I thought to myself, “That’s the most on-the-nose casting choice since Chris Evans.” Then I found out she was playing Thena. And my unshakeable faith in Marvel Studio’s casting ability was abruptly shaken.

Can he catch a frisbie? If not, he might as well be a cat.

They are actually running from the Queen of England, who consumes a corgi heart a day in her quest to outlive Prince Charles and forever deny him the throne.

I was checking Gerard Butler’s IMDB page to see if there were, in fact, any live-action performances of his I’ve enjoyed since 300, and holy shit, they’re making a Den of Thieves 2 and who on God’s green earth was asking for that?

Yes, that’s what we need. A 5'1" King of Atlantis.

I would say or do pretty much anything to get Nick Zano to hug me.

Hooray! Back to sparkly vampires!

You don’t know the half of it. She invented pegging.