I hope he gets all of it.

Given everything that asswipe of an ex put her through she can post obnoxious pictures of this wedding forever as far as I’m concerned.

So good....

He has always been a honey-baked ham and it is delightful.

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

As she was putting the turkey on the table for Thanksgiving dinner, “It’s a Butterball, just like Missy.”

Dad when I was 15: “You could stand to lose a few...” I was around 135 then...and I’m 5’7”.

“You are the fattest person I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting.” -Mom

You have a point but we were talking about Shondaland shows on network TV.

Well, no. What Jezebel should have done was keep all the excellent writers it had, instead of Denton retooling it as “the primary voice for celebrity and pop culture coverage in the network.”

and so was Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.

see this kind of story is why I lose my mind if my period’s two weeks late even though I haven’t seen a dick in a year

Tell ya what. Go beat the shit out of your girlfriend or boyfriend and see if anyone from the NFL shows up with a $12 million check.

Who gives a shit that he missed 19 games? He should be missing them all and the NFL shouldn’t be enabling this r from franchises. Any claims to moral superiority from the NFL head offices…

This is as important a story as Deadspin has ever done. My contempt for Hardy, Jones and Goodell is matched only by my admiration for Diana’s epic reporting.

I always see her as Artemis from It’s Always Sunny, which makes me love Susan all the more.

I love the idea that he wasn’t supposed to call the police on people about to endanger those around them.

I’m not sure if this counts, but my brother died in Iraq when his humvee rolled over a bomb. So some time passes and the pastor of the church my family goes to, goes to sleep and has this really vivid dream. He dreams my brother drives up to him in a humvee. The pastor says he can’t hear his own voice but he asks…

It was a pretty good book.