Well, this happened to my brother, but it’s still fucking good.

I was 17 and my mom took me to her gynecologist to have him tell her if I was a virgin or not.

My stepfather tired really hard to be a good father and be active in my life. I was very fortunate. However, in his university days during the 80s, he had been a scholarly fraternity jock and he still had all of his clothes from that time period. I stole and wore them all the time because he had the most outrageous…

Once, my mom and dad told us they were giving us the house for the weekend while they were taking a cruise. I was 18 and I was going to have friends over. It was going to be a fantastic weekend!

Embarrassing but God they sound like they adore you.

My birthday is April Fool’s Day.

also being evaluated for a possible head injury.

I’m in denial about my boyfriend JGL’s baby so I will instead comment on how Kendall looks like that thing from Splice.

All my dyslexics live in Texas.

this....this is a better synopsis of why we suck than anything you could have written drew. nothing against you, but this lady takes the cake.

More Sherman Alexie tweets, s’il vous plait.

Greek life bullshit needs to die.

THE FUCK?!? The population growth since Katrina is disproportionately white. The city has actually had a net loss of black residents, most of whom could not afford to come back and rebuild (or as she says, “reset.”) Because of what house stock was rehabbed (err...reset) and because of tourism to the city fueling Air…

Reminds me of fifth grade PE class when we got weighed in front of our peers. That was one of the most humiliating experiences in my life, I’m not doing it as an adult. Fuck that noise.

You’re not fooling me, Carter!

Tough but fair.

I have a little tiny Browns mug on my desk at work. One of my coworkers commented on it once. I just looked over and realized I have unconsciously crowded various other things around it so it is no longer visible.

before I was born, my father had an offer for an academic full ride to UCLA, or a hockey scholarship to Ohio U.....Being Canadian, he picked OU, where he met my mom—subsequently marrying her and moving to her home town of... Cleveland.

Les Misérables