Also, the phrase, “a special place in hell.” And I’m pretty sure if there IS a special place in hell, it’s a restaurant where these people are servers, it’s always ten minutes to closing, and perpetual church busses full of non-tippers keep showing up for eternity.

I’m not a parent, but I’ve been to enough restaurants with children that I have to strongly disagree. Sure, give your kids a varied diet in the privacy of your own home - but it’s a stellar parent who saves a waitstaff AND the dining public from the clusterf*** that is children attempting to order off a menu, and…

If ever there was an upbringing that lent itself to being accent free, it was mine. I am the white, Colorado-born-and-raised daughter of a mother who was born in DC and raised by foreign diplomats in places like Cambodia, the Philippines, Switzerland, Hong Kong and Greece.

Uses the term “woman-speak” : unaccustomed to hearing an actual woman speak

I didn’t realize how much I will be stealing that line until JUST NOW.

Yeah, I got that immediately from the user name. To be fair, I would also have gotten it if his user name was something like “Hillary2016ismyhomegyrlHOLLA!1!!” #falseflag #youguyssuckatthis

My mom lived in SE Asia for a while as a kid and she has always served lychee for dessert on special occasions. Guests I bring home with me are generally flumoxed over it, but that has been much less true since the rise in popularity of the lychee martini (which I highly recommend!).

I’m too old for Magic School Bus by a couple of years, but apparently it’s on Netflix so if I start binge-watching now maybe there might still be hope for me.

Or that vegan shrimp must contain shrimp because it’s called vegan shrimp.

I imagine it’s in response to the mayo-loving cabal that runs the rest of the world.

“...plus an inexplicable bag full of napkins and forks.”

Diet instead of regular should be a fireable offense. I’ve had whole weeks ruined by realizing this mistake too late to go back.

How would you feel if that puppy ignored you no matter how often you called its name because it preferred others to you? How would you feel if night and day you saw that puppy...wanting as little as possible to do with you?

I have this feature disabled in my privacy settings...but FWIW, the way I first learned about it was a couple of years ago when a local kid went missing. He was located and returned home safely because of this data from his google account.

While I would *definitely* have to grab that bunny too, as someone who does pet/baby parent education what I love about this video is how nonchalant he is about the animals, and they him - especially once he escapes the baby straightjacket-chair. The parents have done a good job not “magnetizing” him to be obssessed…

I’m actually an animal behaviorist, and can state with authority that this bunny’s body language is clearly saying “F*ck the g*ddamn Raiders.”

35 years ago, my stepfather took my mom to a minor league (Denver Bears) game on their first date. When he got up to go get them a couple of hotdogs he set his scorecard down, and when he came back he saw that my mom had picked it up and kept it going. That was the moment he says he knew he was going to ask her to…

He also has an “alter-ego” known inexplicably as Jody Highroller - and either he named his dog Jody after himself or himself after his dog. At one point he also dyed said dog blue, like chicks who think it’s cute to dye their toy poodles pink. To me this evidence supports both hypotheses, that he has self-esteem…

My best friend has a degree in Marine Biology and trained dolphins at SeaWorld for 6 years, but now works at Petco to be near family (not a lot of dolphin training jobs in the Midwest). Another friend who has a degree in French AND a million dollar trust fund got a job at Crate & Barrel for the employee discount,…

But... it's not free, if we give it to them.