The silicon valley equivalent of shooting paper towels into the crowd.

The one trick oil companies don’t want you knowing about!

Whatever it is I’m sure the fuel companies hate it.

All aboard the SS Smoggy McSmogface.

Meh. That ship has sailed. I grew up swimming at the Jersey Shore in the 1970s— I’m already non-biodegradable.

Everyone knows Moon Tourists are the worst. Last time they left garbage everywhere then stole a ton of rocks. They burnt scorch marks and left tracks from their dune buggies. You know how long it’s going to take to get rid of the ruts they left? No thanks.

Big deal. I went to a Florida used car dealership and picked up a space shuttle for $100 dollars. Surprisingly good fuel economy and it’s an automatic.

Two of the Budweiser frogs have denounced it, but the third frog supports the alt right and Pepe.

In the end, all that will be left are fruitcakes and irradiated cockroaches, and the roaches will be the servant class worshipping their yuletide gods.

He should have Czekaj’d himself before he Wzekaj’d himself.

“In other news, tube socks crustier than ever. Back to you, George.”

America has the biggest neutrinos, ok, they’re just huge.

Proteins on the back of the eye huh? I always thought they were the little alien worm overlords who speak with me telepathically and tell me to post stupid shit in the comments on Gizmodo articles.

Coming soon: the Chrysler Town and Cuntry

Don’t worry, you’ll probably be stuck behind an RV anyway.

When you click UPS’s next day shipping

$150 Billion space station... still uses duct tape. Hey can't knock it I guess, why spend a million on another solution when a $2 roll of duct tape (not counting cost to ship it there) does the job.