I just want him to retire because there is no way he doesn’t die the first time hes sacked

I’m standing by for Luck to come back next season with Markelle Fultz throwing mechanics. Will it be a two handed shot put? Underhanded toss? I can’t wait.

I saw the Dwaynes Johnson open for Earth Wind & Fire.

If it gets him back on the field, fans are okay with that.

I spent a good night throwing a Turbo Screamer through the streets of Whitefish, Montana, one of the results of which was that my friend’s wife exiled him to the couch.

[Note: The Duke is the official name of the NFL game ball; Luck wasn’t asked if he was throwing John Wayne around.]

Live shot from Colts mini camp, (they’ll be just as good as last year):

No, he means he hasn’t ever, he’s just a huge Platonist, every football is a shoddy approximation of the “real” “ideal” football which he will only understand through philosophy.

I’m not even sold yet that he’s actually “good,” much less great

In hindsight, the top of the 2012 draft class is really weird. The top two picks, Luck and Griffin were really good, if not spectacular, in the beginning. Then a combination of injuries, organizational incompetence, and poor play has rendered them afterthoughts just 5 years later. Throw in Trent Richardson, currently…

Luck: I’m trusting the process

I don’t know why Josh McDaniels ran screaming in terror back to the Patriots, do you

That’s cool, yo.

I’m trusting the process that I’m in right now very very much and I’m trusting myself in this process.

Andrew Luck is 28 years old.

Colts fan: ‘Luck has plenty of experience with underweight footba-’

She was truly born for this. 

What on earth do rabbits, eggs and candy have to do with Jesus coming back for the dead anyway? The commercialization of Easter makes it a nonsense holiday without any of the fun of the other nonsense holidays.

surely she can’t be using this newfangled literary technique called “humour” i’ve heard so much about

Surely, some poor schmuck at the White House Visitors Office would review my application, Google me, and dispassionately drop me into the “NO” pile.