Come now, don’t stoop to that. Floyd is many things. But he ain’t dumb. Literacy isn’t the same thing as intelligence. Go read a couple of correctly punctuated comments at Breitbart, you’ll see what I mean. Fuck Floyd, though. For certain.

Woman-punching, boringly proficient defensively oriented boxer sucks. THE HOTTEST OF TAKES HATH BEEN BIRTHÈD THIS DAY.

Why do you hate Suge, Marty? Are you hung up on that whole “murderer” thing? Lighten up, breh. It’s only human life.

Angry food Albert is the best angry food Albert.

What happened to Gamboa? I mean, I know what happened, but what happened? Some Hamilton Nolan long form prose is decidedly in order on this question. Also, Fuck TMT.

As a "you don't wash your hands" truther, I agree with Kevin. Also, damn man, wash your hands.

The "meh" looks on the faces of Howard's teammates as they ostensibly come to his aid tell you everything you ever needed to know about the dude.

There's a superhero appearing throughout this comment thread who I believe has something to say to you. Your comment is idiotic. Wear it, or shut the fuck up.

Nope. It's the funny jokes.

Yeah, everybody. You're angry about the WRONG DEAD BLACK KID. This was a "pick the right dead black kid to be angry about and racism and police violence will magically be solved" quiz, and you failed! And we had a real shot, too! Oh well, guess we'll just have to hope for another cop-shot black kid before we fix the…

Swanson avatar . . . revoked. Use something else. Like maybe David Duke. Or Bull Connor. Also, recognize that hyperfocusing on the unknowable aspects of the interaction that led to Michael Brown's death just shows how deeply you don't get what's actually going on. You are a racist, retrograde, hideously smug,…

Never before have I worked so hard mentally to come up with an analogy linking Dan Haren and Marisa Tomeii's character in "My Cousin Vinny." Intellectually, I was not up to the task.

*Runs out of gym while taking shirt off. Later, returns to seat while replacing shirt.

Something something gambling, something something Obamacare, something something trickle down, something something Jordan's a Republican!

As an officially heartbroken Royals fan, I want to hate this guy. But then, goddamn that goddamn bit of goddamn linguistic brilliance, goddamnit. The treacly text can go twist, but this? Goddamn.

I thought "LaRussaVision" meant that you had to bring three different lefty specialists in to pitch during the same at-bat.

Just eat your own mis-view, chief. Don't slice it across the dogleg into the fairway and then start talking shit about "hitting a cut." Just don't.

This list criminally underrates "Evangeline." Which is bad. But it also sent me digging for my Last Waltz DVD. Which is good. As an overall internet words list, I rate it three Burnekos.