As someone who has been the largest adult in almost every room, photo, car, elevator or airplane I’ve ever been in, leave Knickers the hell alone.

Unless you kill somebody, nobody should get jail time for a speeding ticket. I know she was really in trouble for missing her court date but what the fuck people. There is got to be a better way to do this shit. It probably cost more to jail her than the fines would ever amount to.

Fun fact: Oregon only (relatively) recently amended the “no black folks allowed” part of their state constitution. Don’t fall for the trappings of white liberal utopias.

“In fact, shouldn’t this practice be widespread?”

Do we get emails from apartment management basically monthly saying “If you put your recycling in a plastic bag, even a standard garbage bag, they will just throw it in the trash?” Yes.

Are our cans filled 100% of the time with recycling in bags? Double yes.

Sometimes I’m just tired or hungover or really not into it. Do I really have to put on a show for these people full-time?

So it turns out Taco Bell won’t kill you if you eat it but make you live to over 100? Or is this lady just a mutant?

Nearby a gaggle of white girls walked out of the mall with fifteen thousand dollars worth of stolen makeup.

Personally—I’m on the side of the nay, even though I’ve gone to our local “Pour” a few times.

For every woman who speaks out, like Ms. Ellis, there has to be many, many more who don’t feel that they have any options.

Counterpoint: I’m not paying $20 for two eggs and a piece of toast when I’m on a per diem. I'll wake up on time like an adult and go get something healthy and cheap.

In theory, you have instant tabulation and elimination of issues like hanging chads, crossed out entires and half-filled circles.

Why do you have to announce your Aunt is “ugly”?  Are you insecure about your self? Let’s see how you manage old age with that attitude.

who dressed as characters from the cult classic Napoleon Dynamite (A “cult classic” is a film that made no money because only white people think it is interesting).

And keep in mind that air travel already dehydrates you like shit. Drinking alcohol only additionally contributes to this. Your chance of a massive headache increase, as does the chance that next time you poop it’ll be 2 days later and you’ll feel like you’re giving birth.

“Officers determined that the gun Wayne was flashing was actually a BB gun and found that the two people who appeared with Wayne in synchronized black skull t-shirts did not break any laws besides a few fashion rules.”

Wisconsin is not on the list because of the cost. Ask anyone who live on the Illinois/Wisconsin border which side they purchase beer on. Now if you want to talk volume? 

Yeah, a quick search will reveal lots of unbuckled kids hitting the ceiling of buses when they hit a bump. Also a kid getting dragged 100 feet because her backpack got caught in the door, and kids yelling at their drunk school bus driver, and kids getting hit by school buses.

This is Florida; if this is the weirdest and most dangerous thing those kids will face everyday, then that is still putting one in the win column.

Ordinarily, my instinct would be to deny anyone who uses the term “snowflake,” but this substitution is truly bullshit. Asking for substitutions in a soup or stew is some next-level lousy customering.