This article is a good first step towards hardening your soul in preparation for Stormy Daniel’s extended description of what it was like having Trump senior’s bloated, orange body pressed up against her. You gotta train up to that shit.

There’s some awesome things about being alive now (some amazing technology), but it’s overshadowed by the racist bile flowing out of DC right now.

I thought the alt-right already had an official greasy, orange pile of garbage that makes your stomach cramp just by looking at it

Huh? It’s right there in the title, the first paragraph and the third and fourth to last paragraphs.

Him running probably didn’t come out of left field, but him winning probably did.

Why tho? Anyone who’s crossed him gets destroyed. Can you imagine living m with that bully? She may be living large but from what I see she’s in an abusive relationship. Did she go on TV and defend him? Of course she did. Maybe you’ve never experienced abuse or intimidation from your spouse or significant other. This…

Yep. She actually DID sign up for this. Trump has been tossing around political runs for decades so we need to stop pretending like this came out of left field for Melania. She needs to do her job and stop costing taxpayers an extra million a day. That extra million per day for her security is early intervention for…

She absolutely deserved that humiliation and more. This is a woman who defends his racist, sexist, homophobic policies. She deserves that and more. Frankly, I’d be fine with a livecast of her head being shaven in a public square when this administration is finally over.

I’m not following any of that “Free Melania” bullshit. She’s not a child. I’m not going to assume I know more than she does because I see her on TV. She needs to grow the fuck up and move into her new house so she can quit costing the taxpayers so much unnecessary money.

The turkey won’t show up. Then Trump will claim there was a whole flock.

My jaw hit the floor when I learned of this. Melania may be many things, but she did not deserve that humiliation. Obama and Michelle walking her in almost made me cry. HE IS SUCH A PIG.

I’m more interested in how shitty the turnout for the Easter Egg Roll and Costume Contest are going to be.

the turkey will be Reince Priebus or Penis Rice a Roni.

The treatment of Michelle is reason enough to abolish it. An educated woman who wanted to tackle the unfortunate truth that most of American children are Augustus Gloop clones is a bridge too far. Enjoy your clogged arteries!

Only the most genetically superior turkey handpicked by Steve Bannon

I’m dying to see how these two handle all the dumb shit the POTUS and FLOTUS have to do. Is he really going to pardon a turkey?

To me it is such a sexist vestigial remain. Like, she wasn’t elected, she isn’t getting paid for the position, but she is still expected to do a whole bunch of work because her husband is President. And people threw a shit-fit when Michelle Obama commented that there should be some kind of compensation for the First…

It is such a stupid position. Considering the catalogue of horrors coming our way if Melania could humor me by just getting piss drunk on the lawn and screaming “Send In The Clowns”, thus ending any and all dignity attached to this charade of a role, I could live with that.

I love the Root on Monday mornings, always ready to take shit head on. Good Morning, Michael!