In fairness, no one is more qualified to assess how well your team parks its bus than José Mourinho.

Chelsea has 35 goals on the season, more than 2 per game, while Mourinho’s team has 24. Maybe that’s why they’re 13 points behind Chelsea after 17 games.

The irony in the header picture is palpable. Mourinho had to get fired for his team to play like a Jose Mourinho team, whereas Alan Pardew got fired because his team plays like an Alan Pardew team.

I was a WCW diehard all the way to the end of that shitshow and the chance of getting a Scott Steiner word salad on a particular night was one of the reasons why. Anytime he gets a microphone it’s magic. Must be true what he says about Michigan being a highly educated university!

That pussy ain’t gonna grab itself, bro.

Okay, but why is he cosplaying as Big Poppa Pump to celebrate Xmas?

I could never imagine Tiger Woods sleeping with all those porn stars, stripers and prostitutes. Now I can.

Mansions for the players? Balderdash. The owners don’t care about the players. I think it’s more likely that the owners will demand parcels of land for themselves, so they can build full on NFL Company Towns (with construction costs on the state dime, of course).

There’s no chance this isn’t on the horizon in some form or other. And people are going to eat it up. “We gotta give the LA Zealots our daughters, too! Vote YES on 34!”

I’m guessing that, once all teams have a billion dollar stadium and billion dollar practice facility, the next logical step will be to have taxpayer funded mansions built for all of the players.

It’s how these interviews almost always play out when the suspects are star athletes.

Real life lawyer here.

Chris Andersen = Just White Right.

Shawn Kemp has 11 opportunities to show Karl that he’s a good father.

You think that’s awkward? You should have seen the rookie who asked Rex Ryan about footing the bill.

The last time something involving a USMNT player was in Green’s hands, we drew with England!

defined relative us USMNT standards

Don’t call us when you get cancer - no hospitals here. Just witch doctors and divining rods.  

You must have Houston confused with another southern city.

Actually they were applauding because they showed an anti-STEM commercial on the jumbotron.