"The solution was to load a laptop with a software called NetLimiterthat slowed its web access down to between 5Kbit/s to 25Kbit/s."

You're spoiled rotten... back in the day I used a 300 baud acoustic modem, and was glad to have it.

You young whipper-snapper... When I first got on the internet, I had a 2400 baud modem! :D My UNIVERSITY is my ISP! ;D We have play with WINSOCK settings! We have to learn Unix terminal commands to engage SLIP mode! :D We didn't even have Netscape back then! We were using Lynx and Cello! :D

no, it was us remember? Somehow mankind survived into the future and created time travel so we could send the means of saving ourselves back in time so we could... Hey wait....

"Butt-faced shitbag" is probably the most accurate description of Cowherd in existence.

Except unlike Apple, Tesla didn't decide to slap an extra 25% on the price, nor did they release a software update that made any model older than a year self-implode - but I'm sure they'll learn ;)

At least you were locked up when AJ ruined Deadspin.

I ain't saying she's a gold drinker, but she ain't messing with no broke emperor.

By this logic, only Native Americans should be allowed to become Miss America.

I like how the NBA was so proud of their complete victory in the last lockout that this new CBA was so much more fair and now...now that revenues are about to explode, they're like, "whoa, hey there, young buck, that's a whole lotta money. you sure you want all that?" And the players (rightfully) respond with a nice:…

Fun fact: Jesus actually came to St. Louis first. Both mainstream Christians and Mormons got it wrong. I mean, why else would the second-highest position in the Catholic church be called Cardinals?

I'm going to run out and sell my great grandfather's Patek Phillip so i can get the Edition edition.

fun fact about Dubai's lights. LEDs are great for a place like that, but it's not a feasible change for any cold weather airport. They don't give off enough heat to melt snow and ice accumulation. That's right. They're too efficient. To put them in at a place like, for example, O'Hare where I am currently…

In some regards, he's still Head & Shoulders above others in the league.

Most dudes go home and beat off after pretty much any encounter with a female. I've been flying half-mast all day since the drive-thru lady asked if I wanted a receipt.

Well, technically Eli only has one. He lost the other one in the ball pit at a McDonald's PlayPlace.

I am Tyler's passive-aggressive email.

She probably also thinks that goddamned dress is White and Gold.

Jeff Ireland: Dez, are you ashamed of your grammar?

Personally, I think the ideal female body is Christina Hendricks, not some anorexic runway model.