So Trump has now done one semi-admirable thing as president. Cool.
I do fully expect this to be held over everyone’s head for forever as, “Well he did commute Alice Johnson’s sentence, which is more than Obama did.” So that’ll be fun.

-Audience looks around in confusion wondering what a quote from the 80’s pop star who sang “Right Here Waiting” and “Endless Summer Nights” is doing in this speech.

Whenever asked this question, I just use what my mother unit told me,

private bool IsARobot(string question)
{

I am also not a robot.

<COMMENT>

I think that’s the Rage Against the Machine’s song “Know Your Enemy” at least the verse you gave is something very similar.

A racist homophobe with a gay brother who is married to a black man and a son whose banging a Vietnamese-American girl. I do not believe in hell, but this guy does and he is burning alive in it.

Well, most people don’t know that, but I concede your point.

Queen Elizabeth II has probably forgotten more about diplomacy and foreign policy than Trump has ever known or ever will know.

Our “anachronistic” head of state is a 92 year old woman who served in the armed forces as a mechanic during WWII.

Yet the haters that have been up these threads pointing to that one article like “Markle’s not Black!” are going to stay mad and lips puckered. If you don’t have faith in Markle’s Blackness then you don’t have faith in Black mothers. I remain steadfast in my claims...Black culture is carried with Black women.

I didn’t realize “Oh, the places you’ll go” had another literal meaning.

Looks like we need the scoff guard.

Everyone everywhere is a goddamned moron and doing things incorrectly.

I got your back, bro.

I’ll fight you.

PERHAPS I WILL JUSTIN

Perhaps we could just put the meat, seasoning, cheese, condiments, and bun into a food processor for you, add liquid, and let you drink your burger amalgamation through a straw. Ya freak.

This is the worst take and you should be ashamed.