His name is Rio and he screeches from the stands

Yeah, she’d probably placenta top 10.

The thing about shit-talking Waiters is that sometimes they spit in your food.

Today the Great Salt Lake is even saltier.

This is great. I love this. Everybody have a fantastic weekend!

Goddamnit coach, that kid needed just one more rebound for a triple-double.

My first goal in my beer league came when a goalie stopped me on a breakaway and I collected the puck behind the goal and banked it in off of him. Felt like a goddamn magician. I have no further point.

Last week, I had to give a short talk to everybody on my team at work. I nailed it— charming, hit key points, got three or four solid laughs. This video feels like that felt: It ultimately doesn’t amount to anything and will be quickly forgotten. But I looked really cool in front of my peers.

Obviously Raptors can’t shoot with those tiny arms.

This is great news to hear because DeMar DeRozan is a great kid and...and.. I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE DONALD FUCKING TRUMP IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

Talk about Dildo on the field

Wyllie just doing his job making sure no one is offended.  

He’s in the penalty box for ruffing

That Bears fan is a lot like my pun skills.

Coach Van Gundy had put together the perfect team. The only thing he was missing was a good center. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn’t find a big man who could ensure a Finals win.

Take your star, you jerk.

If he didn’t want to be tackled by her, he shouldn’t have been dressed like that

I’m currently in the 2043 season of a game I started in 2012. The new 105,000 seat arena is named after me, I’ve won a dozen consecutive Champions League titles, and last season the kid I signed from Gremio at 16 banged in 58 league goals. My team allowed 7 goals in the Premier League and scored over 200. Roman…

I don’t even want to look up what an “Alaskan Bus Ride” is. Whatever you have to do, I guess.