Don’t forget to boost it with one of these:

Never stop being yourself, Jason. It’s why we love you... and also why we’re slightly worried about you.

Cover design by Tom Brady’s courtroom sketch artist.

I can’t imagine running into a cousin at a swingers party; if I walked into a room and saw my cousin getting plowed. I’d probably need counseling.

I really hate it when bad things happen to good people. What did I do to deserve this happen to my fantasy team?

How did Washington’s lawyers gain access to my browser history?

Hi, You must be new to the corporate world.

Fixed

That picture is one hipster bag of douche.

Deadspin cover curse?

I’m torn. Part of me wants to be annoyed that their smug asses felt the need to interrupt a game. But part of me is also glad that at least they’re directing that energy towards something of consequence in the real world*, and not a banner saying “Indy Has Bad Luck DURR HURR!!”

And unlike most Idiots On The Field, ESPN actually aired them!

Boiling water and barefoot

Why isn’t he electrocuted at each weld “action”?

“He has full motion and feeling in all extremities...”

Sorry Miss Mercedes but it would totally be the Smart. It would probably be one of those people who always brag about being vegan or being on some new liquid diet. They’d always be at the YMCA taking spin classes or doing yoga. They would own a range rover because British refinement.

Bro Diesel Trucks, all of them. If you roll coal, you’re getting a fist sandwich.

I’ll let the video speak for itself.

Stop messing with my U.S.-market heart. I would’ve done awful things to get one of these in any trim with the stick.

Now THAT is something that is worth buying to get groceries and pick up the kids... Granted I have neither.