Sports aren’t fun. I don’t know why I waste so much time on this shit.

Oh, this isn’t DUAN?

It’s always tough to understand the context when Jim Irsay asks his players if they’re holding. 

Talk about dedication to his players, he went out and got CTE to show his solidarity

Prediction: Eli Manning will sign a contract extension in the offseason and immediately die of natural causes. Then he’ll start all 16 games next year.

‘career-best completion percentage, a career-best interception percentage’

Person Participates in Sport Centered Around Beating the Shit Out of Someone, Sustains Major Injury

After Mack and Hicks are done demoralizing your offensive line, we’re gonna tie Foles’ dick around a cinder block and drop him into the Des Plaines River.

As Dirk Diggler once said “ I can do it again”

It’s already uncomfortably large.

Pooping their pants since 1961.

His legend is getting engorged. 

BDN, His legend grows!

Nick Foles was also fined $10,026 for unsportsmanlike conduct and inappropriate celebrating for taking his dick out to urinate

Looks like he’s trying to do a Jim Carrey impression.

4 minutes of rocking back and forth to gain the momentum to stand up out of bed.

You were expecting accuracy in reporting... around here?

You could have even used “SpecOps” in that post because that’s what they’re usually called in the field.