The Detroit Lions have a play called the Roseanne Barr, a very unattractive play where Matt Stafford literally shits his pants and then throws an unadvised lateral to a RB that results in a fumble.

How did they train this dog to imitate Brady’s run so perfectly so quickly?

Nathan Peterman had the best game of his career last Sunday against the Bears. Yes, he threw for three interceptions and no touchdowns as he averaged a horrendous 3.84 yards per attempt on 41 passes, and yes, the Bills lost 41-9, but ... it appears there is no positive point on which to end this sentence.

This dude looks like if a dick and a thumb had a baby.

Gee, ya think your boy Gillum’s INCREASING TAXES (among other inevitably higher taxes via his crazy proposals) ultimately proved more UNPOPULAR than popular??  Oh wait, if a person doesn’t want HIGHER TAXES, they must be “racist” LOL.

Don’t forget to complain about the lack of manuals in cars we’ll never buy new. 

Pffffft. Random commenters know way more about what cars you should and shouldn’t like than you do. For example, the internet has taught me that I purchased a BMW strictly to impress my neighbors, I don’t know what a ‘turn signal’ is, and that I should have bought two Accord couples instead.  

I hate it when people dislike something just because it is new or expensive. Not that I have the money to prove it, but I think that some people (car enthusiasts especially) don’t understand that sometimes you really get what you pay for.

“an even bigger prize”

Jalopnik is my car club. We criticize Tesla, tag most cars as “crack pipe” and make fun of Mustang bros. 

At the risk of referring to ethno-national stereotypes, the “Italian tune-up” is a thing. I’m not Italian, but I’m happy to perform one of those on anything that needs it.

I used to have a coworker that could not keep a car at a continuous speed.  If it was 30mph he would accelerate to 35mph, coast down to 25mph and then stab the gas back to 35mph.  Repeat until we got to where we were going.  This would hold true for speed limits of any speeds.  10 minutes into any trip and you were…

This post is spot on. I’m a HUGE Diablo fan, I grew up with the franchise and D2 remains one of my favorite games of all time. I got D3 on launch and was disappointed, came back after they fixed the loot table, and after something like 800 hours I decided the game is just fundamentally broken at it’s core and moved on…

It’s astounding to me how these nerds are screaming themselves into rage-comas because a phone toy isn’t directly marketed to them.

Holy shit, Gamers are trash.  Just don’t play it if you’re that mad.  Christ...

Nor should they expect it. I agree it’s a bad idea and not what i want. What will i do with this turn of events? Not play it and maybe check out Path of Exile. This Gamers Rise Up bullshit is just embarrassing. They don’t care how angry you rage on reddit. They care if they don’t make money on it. No amount of reddit…

People are terrified of penises and testicles.  If a penis came popping out of a unitard while someone was straddling a pommel horse, children could possibly see it!  Think of thr children!!  

cmon guys spring for redbreast

Carr realized he forgot to set the DVR at home.

She’s exactly the type of person that shouldn’t be allowed to carry a gun. She’s trying to use it as some kind of status symbol instead of for protection, specially since it’s a useless assault weapon.