That image above the story is photoshopped. Why? The other banners are just as offensive, why make fake ones?

VPs and above have no idea what a computer is. As an moderately well compensated IT person who works with big companies, my job is to overcharge VPs for whatever batshit idea they come up with, then produce something that has a lot of charts, which they will never look at. If I was told to set up a private email…

OMG, I had the same thing. I was working at Taco Bell about 25 years ago, and I was in the back using an industrial rake to churn 25 pounds of ground beef. The owner kept walking through the back and asking me why I wasn’t smiling. I was young, so I didn’t know that the answer to that question was, “because I’m not a…

I didn’t think there was anyone from gen-x who needed to be told this. It’s a good message, but the only people I ever meet who think that brands are a thing to care about are millennials and boomers.

Oh millennials! The sky is blue and the earth is round too.

I live in San Francisco, and I and my wife just had a kid. It is amazing how retrograde everything is related to kids here. There’s a bay area mothers group online for instance. You have to be a woman to join. No men, not even two dads. Everywhere we look, it’s ‘mom this’ and ‘mothers that’. You’d think that this…

Ha. It’s funny to use Green Day as an age marker. They are, as a band, older than you are. I went to Green Day shows when I was your age, before you were born. It’s like saying, “I’m young, I still listen to the Rolling Stones.”

Why don’t we start recruiting members of Isis to form some sort of anti-Russian resistance in the region. We could call them something catchy, like mujahadin maybe. Then, they could act as our proxy against Russian expansionism, and we wouldn’t have to worry about a thing in the region. Sounds like a great plan.

Why wouldn’t they? Are they around women ever? Do they expect to have a long-term relationship with a woman? Knowing about breast sizes is really fucking normal for normal people who have normal relationships with both genders.

Two things about onion allergies: you CANNOT be allergic to onions. At least in the classical sense of an allergy. You can dislike them, but there’s no such thing as an allergy. Second: What culture does not use onions? The Inuit maybe? Everyone else does.

I love the idea that “I quit” is the wrong thing to say at a mcdonald’s EVER.

I read somewhere that NWA were a step group before turning to gangsta rap. I would love to see that.

I shave the hair on my shaft and trim elsewhere. It helps motivate mrs swineflu to lick my balls if they are not too hairy. However when we spoon and I’ve just shaved, she jumps all over the place whenever my stubble pokes her. It’s hard to find the right balance between boiled chicken and…

Was the query letter exactly the same but for the name? I’m surprised no-one said “hey, this looks like the same query letter I got a while ago.”

Yes! Driving in Austria is amazing. They just make the roads go straight, mountain or no mountain. “Would you like another half-billion Euro tunnel, Austria?” “Why yes I would.”

Angeles Forest in Arcadia. It’s practically rain forest up there.

All of these people should be more careful about internet security. I would suggest that they unplug their internet router even when they are online. You can never be too careful.

I live in SF, and I would kill to have a Wegmans here. They are amazing.

This is EXACTLY how I learned to drive stick! I was 14 though, and only had to make it through two or so blocks of town before I could grind gears on a rural road.

I’ve worked in porn a bunch (albeit gay porn) and the economics that I’ve heard about in most porn seems to make no sense for the actors. It’s simply not worthwhile to do per-shoot work. Sure, you might get paid 600 dollars for three hours of work, and that seems ok if you’re young, but the math simply does not add…