I do that. My French ex-boyfriend always said it was why he fell in love with me, because he’d never met an American who did. I do it for two reasons:

Or, if you wanted pizza without a mouthful of oil, you could just blot the too-greasy pizza. There’s a lot that’s good about pizza that isn’t the additional teaspoon of oil that collects on top, and different pizzas produce varying amounts of grease that may or may not necessitate blotting for maximal enjoyment. WTF…

Pizza in Italy (Neapolitan-style pizza) is true thin-crust pizza, which is why it’s eaten with a knife and fork. The true New York slice is thin enough to crisp up nicely, but strong enough to withstand being folded without shattering or oozing cheese everywhere. Anything thicker than that is a Sicilian slice or an…

Truthfully, if it wasn’t for the chin acne at the end, I would have assumed these guys were what, 22? I’m pretty sure no boy in my high school had anything resembling actual quads.

I am a little biased because I know the author of the original piece, and my guess is she was either just being funny/obnoxious or just genuinely not thinking about it all that hard. There are certain types of people in the world who respond to questions the way you do (and that is a great thing—I’d much rather have a…

Honestly, I’ve had a similar conversation with a friend who said basically the same thing, and we ended up laughing hysterically about it. I think it’s a question of knowing your audience, mostly, but at the same time, don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.

Three guys, within a group of five? Guarantee they probably called her that and worse. She didn’t ask what her FRIEND thought, she asked her friend if she thought that’s what those guys thought. And I would guess that yeah, those guys probably did think her friend was being a little slutty.

No, that’s sexist bullshit. Old-timey sexist bullshit, but sexist bullshit nonetheless. Women are not constantly preoccupied with shopping for groceries and other domestic tasks; the assumption that they are (and even referencing a cliche that is premised on the assumption that they are) is dated and wrong.

“I have mastered the fine art of presenting a charming disposition with self-awareness”

I work in fashion and we generally budget 2 hours for hair and makeup on a professional shoot, and I’ve often seen it run longer than that. If you’re intending your makeup to be photographed, especially in high-resolution and especially up close, it really does take that long.

I dig mean and funny, but this was just mean, not funny. It’s possible to point out things that are ridiculous about current trends in makeup without expressing base contempt for everyone who WEARS makeup. Frankly, I’d be more interested in this author exploring why it is she continues to wear makeup even though she…

I don’t wear any makeup on a daily basis, as I say, but I work in social media in the fashion industry and remain engaged in the world, so I was familiar with everything the author found puzzling. It’s not THAT hard to figure out, if you’re interested in pop culture, which I’m surprised a comedian is not. I have never…

I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THIS THING SO HERE I AM TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THIS THING.

Oh it’s the same, we don’t actually go to a State Department office. You just mail it in. But you’re waiting for the State Department to process it. I have a valid passport, so this doesn’t really affect me, but it’s quite expensive, relatively. A bit discriminatory if you ask me.

At least in New York, you can make appointments online to go to the DMV—I had to renew my drivers’ license a few months ago (would have gone for the enhanced license if I’d heard a single word about this before!) and my 10am appointment got called at about 10:08. I was out of there by 10:20. It was positively…

I have three quarter size scars on my spine from precisely that, only it was on a boat deck, so the paint was mixed with sand and pebbles for traction. I was on vacation with my parents, and when we went swimming the next day they graciously didn’t say anything about the violent wounds up and down my back.

My mom loves the story of my first lie. I was 14 months old (I started speaking very early, at 8 months) and it was Valentine’s Day. My dad bought us each a box of wrapped chocolates—a big box for her and a little box for me. I’d been playing around with mine all day, making patterns, stacking them and knocking them…

Glad it’s always worked for you. Mostly it hasn’t for me. It’s often worked in reverse though, where I’ve fucked someone and it hasn’t worked out but we like each other enough to become platonic friends. There’s no one answer, obviously.

Except in all those many, many situations where the person you sleep with gets weird and is suddenly not your friend, exactly as you seem to not recognize happens sometimes? Maybe that just means they were never really your friend in the first place, but let’s not kid ourselves. Some people just look at you…

I think generally speaking, if you are not a qualified therapist, it is not your role to try and fix a deeply damaged person who is in denial. Particularly not with a strap-on dildo. This is exactly what we mean when we talk about affirmative consent—you should KNOW that you and your partner are on the same page about…