I will kick ANYONE out of bed for eating crackers. Crackers in bed is a deeply antisocial and scratchy act. But otherwise, yes, get in my bed, JGL.

The pants at that link are the ugliest effing thing I've ever seen in my life. I realized that that was from Mean Girl after I wrote it and I am NOT deleting it because they are actually that ugly. So. That is why this experiment and not that one.

Anytime you see the phrase "wrongful birth" you are guaranteed to hear an absolute motherfucker of a story; I would venture that most people who file wrongful birth suits are deeply conflicted about the term. When genetic counselors make mistakes, and children are born with terrible disabilities who otherwise would…

Well thank you! I have been informed elsewhere that my knowledge of processed pepperoni products is somewhat lacking, so I have no idea if my hypothesis is correct as there are apparently more kinds of meat sticks one could insert than I ever imagined.

Interesting. I know a lot about sex toys, but I do not eat processed meat products, and certainly will not be starting now. So thanks for the clarification!

Um, yes, that is pretty much exactly what I just said. Although the word "fetish" doesn't necessarily apply here. Some people like it, some people don't, across all demographics.

This is an excellent point. And in conjunction with your username I am dying laughing.

Lots of straight women and men like stuff up there; lots of gay men don't. As I'm not a gay man I'm not the right person to do an explainer here, but basically there are tops and bottoms, most of my friends happen to be tops, and none of them are ever on the receiving end of anal sex.

The casing must have absorbed something though, right?! I don't know. I don't eat processed meats and after this thread I don't know that I ever will.

It's a possibility that he likes it, especially if he's been doing it for a long time. The sanitary issue would arise if he decided to try to reuse his equipment or use it for any length of time. It's organic matter, which means it is a porous breeding ground for bacteria, either that which is inside his body or…

It continues to amaze me how many men have such a mental block about it in this day and age. It remains kind of the last straight-guy taboo—liking stuff up your ass has gone pretty mainstream, but liking it enough to purchase some penis simulcra and keep it in your house is a commitment a lot of men won't make.

Well, as a true dyed-in-the-wool pervert who used to sell sex toys, I can tell you that my immediate first thought was, "oh yeah. Textured." So that would be my guess as to why pepperoni. If you don't want to go out and buy a big veiny dildo, this might be your cheapest option. Or else he's using the cheap stuff…

Nope, not necessarily the case. I've seen men have dry orgasms before, and that was just because we'd been having a lot of sex in a short period of time and the, ahem, well was dry. I can't speak to this particular individual (and there are a number of face-palm-y "sexperts" who say there's no such thing as a dry…

I wouldn't say Elle & Marie Claire are being left out. They're fashion magazines with audiences much older than Cosmo or Seventeen's readers, and they're also very different from each other. Wouldn't make sense to bring them in under the Joanna Coles umbrella nor would it make sense to merge them together.

Oh, god, it's fucking exhausting. You'd know it if you saw it.

You said you would be dating like a beast once you're established, which implied to me that you're not dating like a beast now. And I just find that mentality so sad. If you think money is the real reason women like you, then you'll never really respect any of the women who date you, and that makes it a lot harder to…

If you're looking for a real connection with someone, there's no reason to wait to date. It takes time to meet the right person, especially if a lot of women write you off. Presumably someone who sees past the physical is someone who also understands your professional potential and won't need you to be "established"…

I think if this thread is teaching us anything, it's that there are literally all kinds of people swinging all over the country. They're NOT just one type or in one place, which is pretty cool if a little not-surprising.

My favorite was the girl's Catholic school in our town who were the Killer Koalas.

Great. Now I want a panini.