You should celebrate. You're a wonderful glass of what looks to be delicious whiskey.

But baseball is a brilliant game! And if the Cubs are rubbish, well, it just makes the victories all the sweeter when they do succeed!

Breasts are fantastic, aren't they? Everyone should have breasts.

Breasts are fantastic, aren't they? Everyone should have breasts.

Thank you! You're very kind. I appreciate it!

Comedy is wonderful, and free comedy is even wonderfuller. You lucky people in Chicago!

I love Back To The Future, and I love that they were making fun of Donald Trump before it was cool to make fun of Donald Trump.

That's a good one! But I can't change my original reply now, so I'll just put -

Have I been making a lot of negative comments?

I've never found any one that I've read to be funny. It's just not for me.

I just LOVE Adele! Tomorrow can't come soon enough.

Perfect Body Forrest would be amazing.

She skinned and wore a bunch of squirrels? That doesn't sound very funny!

Add in something about it all being Oliver's fault and how he should have stayed dead, and that's perfect!

I wanted to dress as Forrest MacNeil this year, but no-one will ever get it, so I'm going to stay home and get drunk instead.

Squirrel Boobs? Someone's been reading my Furry fanfic!

True, but then everyone looks silly in that image. What's going on with the green dude's biceps?

I just cannot get Dinosaur Comics. It's like it's meant to be so shit it's funny but it's actually so shit it's just shit.

It's going to be a uh, a fascinating, uh, indehiscent.

Please tell me that's a real character.