I like the quick close-up shot of a woman gasping with pleasure to let you know we're going to get some soft-core sex, or at least some tits. And who doesn't love tits?

Sold!

Hmm. Halfway through the second episode. I hope this gets better. Who knew the Cocaine Cartels were this fucking dull?

Can't just have no Alien films? I don't care who directs them. Mediocre or bad! Jesus.

Hey Ridley! The 1970's called, it wants it's dumb fucking ideas back!

They need to make a series of The Southern Reach trilogy!

Let's roll some nerve gas into his nest!

Doesn't Cameron just live on the bottom of the sea now?

But the thing that bursts out of the Engineer at the end isn't the alien from Alien.

Some deep something, anyway.

"He's supposed to be some kind of director. Apparently, he made a good movie once."

Can't we just remake Alien 3 using the original script, with the wooden planet and all the crazy religious symbolism? It's be more intriguing than all this stupidity.

God, what an enormous pile of shit Cloverfield turned out to be.

The Rogue Nation trailer ended with Ethan Hunt hanging onto the side of a plane as it takes off. If that didn't get you excited then you must be a withered husk inside.

He's got us there, boys!

I'm playin' like Paul fuckin' Newman, byraway.

Ladydudes! Relax, we're all friends here.

Shit, I forgotten all about that, fantastic.

Ahh, don't forget the hastily added shots of plucky New Yorkers throwing rocks the the Goblin - "You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!"

Hm. Does seem to spoil the whole bloody movie; although that's perhaps in hindsight.