(Kinja just double-posted this for the halibut.)

Oy(ster)!

The next day he called 911 from a Chinese place complaining about the geoduck.

Sounds like he was feeling pretty crabby about the size of his meal.

Indeed. Florida Man has consistently brought temporary joy every time he pops up over the years. Except for when it was all about eating faces for a while.

At least he didn’t get physical and resort to using his mussels.

What happened to keeping clam and collected in fishy situations? He didn’t need to act so shellfish.

Don’t be so shellfish.

Shucks, if I were him I’d be clamoring to sue!

I didn’t like it at all.

The whole “Merry Christmas” debacle is a perfect illustration of how sociopolitical discourse has degenerated in the United States.

I was just gonna wear jeans, while it’s still legal for women to wear pants.

$284Billion and her first thought is “oh, my Xmas lights” and not “someone done fucked up?”

Donald Trump ate a vegetable? I don’t believe it. Fake news

While I agree that many women are complicit, there is a danger in turning the focus to them and perhaps not considering certain factors. For example, the 63 percent statistic. 63% of white women who voted did so for Roy Moore. Also, considering the weak laws preventing domestic abuse, also in 2014 a gun was used in…

Thank you Jez staff for this article and for bringing up Johnny Depp. When I to,d my story of being punched at work (in addition to being harassed), several male trolls asked me “are you saying that being punched is sexual harassment”? Clearly, men don’t get the full picture. For women at work, this whole thing is a…

Oh Girl, I’d be happy for just the hot cocoa.

I’d be satisfied with a cup of hot chocolate and a snickerdoodle.

Thank you. I know this was a joke in this blog post, but I am sick and tired of pitting women against each other. What has any of the male singers done for us lately?