Whether you watched football or the Golden Globes yesterday, you were likely exposed to a new McDonald's ad

Can I play #RupertsFault?

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This piece needs music, Kevin:

Its like getting robbed by a unicorn. A unicorn that sucks at basketball.

In a related suit, the NFL has been charged with disseminating images of the Jets sucking, and fucking themselves all year.

I'd be pretty embarrassed and ashamed to be Jermaine Cunningham right about now.

Shitbarf Guy isn't a first ballot HOF'er. He's clearly a #2.

I've also watched United flight attendants argue over policy right in front of me and other passengers— they really need to get their shit together. In my case, it was over something much less important than a special needs child, but it was still a mess.

Haha. Oh the joys of retail. At my last such job our PoS really was a PoS. It was cathartic to be able to tell my boss that the PoS was acting up and know which way I meant it.

You know who is great about dietary restrictions? Whole Foods catering. We used them for our wedding. I have numerous restrictions due to my migraines, several vegans were attending, and I had a guest who is a very sensitive coeliac. They accommodated everything & no one got sick. They also delivered hot food hot. It…

I thought you were going to say "this lump smells like my husband's testicles"

Seriously? This is a story about a notorious stalker who was considered "harmless" by his superiors, yet you're most disturbed by the actions of Morrow (who's now a widower, btw)? Jesus, get a grip.

"His emotions got the best of him." I will print this out and shove it with my fist in the face of the next pig who tells me women are emotional.

Bless their hearts.

Who the hells serves a tossed salad at a tailgate party?

Damn, there really aren't a lot of good options for "Hammer." Even normal names are a minefield.

Really? I love cock over dick. Dick makes me sound like a highschool boy. Cock is so dirty and...HNNNG

"Gluten Free Vanilla Sugar Cookie Mix."