It's easy to appeal to dumb people, because there are more of them.

Ah, yes, West Side Story, with that memorable "Gee, Officer Krupke."

If you're "planning to propose" and writing in the newspaper about doing it, have you not, in fact, already proposed? If the whole world, including your GF, knows you're planning on marrying her, you don't need to ask, right? She has already said Yes by making you the stupid sandwiches.

They are the most special snowflakes who ever flaked.

Life will, indeed, kill you.

There's plenty of outrage to go around, that's for sure. My problem is that people add syllables to my name because it is short - but I usually just let them. I know who they're talking about.

I love this tumblr with people complaining about others getting their names wrong.

I had a strong feeling this was a hoax, but I still think Los Angelista's piece is worth reading.

Yeah, I'm not a fan of the bivalves either. But spit it out in privacy, lady. Not on the bamboo flooring.

Oh, I know. My old dog was a greyhound and she caught dozens of gophers in her time, as well as about 5 possums, several rats, two rabbits and even her proudest catch, a seagull out of midair. She looked so sweet, but she was a killer.

My dog hunts gophers like this. She launches herself up into the air and jams her face down the hole, heedless. She has never, to my knowledge, caught one, though. She may be handicapped by her short little pit bull snout.

The ghost of redbeard.

Haha it was her OWN mouth, sorry to not be more clear. English is hard!

Don't be ashamed. It's those anti-fungal vegans who should be ashamed!

Ha. I had a lady shriek at me that my panting dog was having a heatstroke in my car. I need to mention that it was a 60 degree day, the giant sunroof was open, and I was also sitting in my car. We had stopped for 5 minutes to deposit a check. '

You could just eat loaves of white bread and margarine and jam and be vegan...unless you count those pesky single-celled animals (yeasts) in the bread.

Just as an FYI - I don't ever shove a healthier lifestyle on people because I fucking hated that when people tried to sneak up on me with their healthy ideas that had an undercurrent of shame. I'm just talking about people who show interest and ask "What are you doing?" or "How can I make kale taste good?"