The upside is that, if anyone has ever deserved a shitty tip, it's you!

You are a miserable bastard. Now go eat a tomato and get the fuck out of here. ::BURSTS INTO TEARS::

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Come back and see us sometime, Burt.

Yo is squeezing lemons of joy in both hands.

From part 3:

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF BACKWARDS ASS BACKWOODS THE HILL HAVE EYES TYPE SHIT ARE THESE PEOPLE RUNNING?!?!

Hahaha when I read that I just remember that look Amy gave Doogie Houser in Gone Girl when he took the creme brulee out of her hands hahahahaha.

I'm due any day now and plan on eating my placenta. Encapsulation though, no smoothies. And I'm hiring someone to do that shit. Once you've experienced PPD, you'll try ANYTHING.

In reverse it appears she is picking her nose and then putting something on his neck...

I'll try to make this a short and sweet as possible. I stumbled upon Jezebel through I09 because I am a nerd and I do nerd shit. I'm an empathetic type of guy but I never really delved too deeply into the concept of feminism. Until I started reading articles on Jez. Of course I love the puns and snarky comments. But…

Well, this year I only lost an aunt rather than a parent, so I'm calling it a win.

Eminem's fans are mostly white people who never liked rap before until they saw him and they delude themselves into thinking he's better than other rappers even though his lyrics are grossly misogynistic, violent, and vulgar. Arguably moreso than other rappers because he's the only rapper, as far as I know, to say…

If "putting shit in a place one does not know" constitutes "stealing", my husband has also "stolen" all my documents. Damn the man and his compulsive reorganizing.

Teh intartubes provides:

Yes! There are many other contestants I would rank above him but he's the best winner. So many zero fucks given by that man during Season 3.

Hung is also MY favorite Top Chef winner ever! But not contestant - that's obviously Carla.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

ADDITIONALLY:

As one of those people who never shuts up, I can confirm that True Detective is the ideal gift: I watched the entire series from start to finish in one night...I don't even remember if I got up to pee at any point.