You know, we can have more than one hero at a time.

Maybe that’s why Miley likes her so much.

Road trip to South Carolina to fucking shimmy up that flag pole to shit on that fucking flag and then fucking burn it and then fucking throw it in that dumb fucking Governor’s face.

This is us now, except instead of working our dream jobs, we are home searching for jobs, and we just moved to a new city, so I only have one friend to go out with. I find wearing real outfits as often as possible is helpful though.

Oh god at least he’ll admit it. Mine is in denial. It’s because he’s from Wisconsin - he thinks he can drink a lot. Babe...you cannot.

originally it was hot dog but I decided corndogs are more intrinsically funny

Since I was 5 I’ve identified as the Batman. It doesn’t matter that I’m a 30 something black male. People should respect my identity and address me as Batman.

Even the remake couldn’t make me hate the original. If anything it’ll just make me want to re-watch the whole series again

You know... I don’t really have a problem with a women getting paid shitloads of money for doing nothing for a change. Men have been getting away with that shit for years.

More like Fifty Shades of Bronzer

Dolezal graduated from Howard with her Masters in Fine Art in 2002

See this makes me wonder, was she ever trying to pass? Or did she just hang around Black people for long enough that people just started assuming she was Black and she never bothered to correct them?

We need a Lifetime movie to sort this hot-ass mess out. I suggest casting Emma Stone, she’s the only actress who could…

We don’t do showers in the UK; they’re viewed as grasping and tacky. But if I got an invitation stating no boxed gifts, my gift would be lots of tupperware boxes, individually wrapped.

So nice of Apple to finally invent Women.

Well, thanks for enlightening us, Dave Coulier! But would she go down on you in a theater?

True story. My sister once raised money to save the Brazilian Rain Forest despite the fact that she’s not, in fact, a marmoset.

“We bought too much of the Tilly, which was a relative of the Tippi”