Where there is only one set of footsteps, that is when Phyllis carried you.

Theory 4: Phyllis has been near you this whole time. Erin is Phyllis.

Keep an eye out for LiLo's new pearl earring line. It will be a limited release of about 3,000 pairs.

Ah. In-house work is often terrible. The client rarely knows what's good for itself, but they always think they do.

You know you're an asshole when even Canada, the politest country in the world, is like ERMPH. BACK UP, TURN AROUND, WALK AWAY.

Not without a green card joke being thrown in (by everyone's favorite woman-beating white guy) for good measure, though

I think this is my new favorite thing on Kinja.

KIM REPRESENTS POWERFUL WOMEN

My head might explode if Hermione becomes a princess.

I feel like this was a game of Two Truths and a Lie.

The one that was pulled directly from the plot of the latest season of Downton Abbey seems like a good contender. The rest of them seem pretty plausible to me, though.

My husband died. I moved on eventually. Some British nobleman tried wooing me. I fell for him. We boned in a Liverpool hotel. He asked me to marry him. I said no, and then cut my hair short.

I know one of those, too. Every time it happened, I was like, "HER? Really?"

I know someone who has been engaged maybe 3 times. They've all happened wildly fast, and ended the same. She's not that great, and I'm all, "How do you keep getting men to propose to you?!"

A prude in the streets, a freak in the tweets.

Three hours? By that point, my sexual pressure cooker has gone cold and stale. Not even a quick microwave's gonna be able to reheat that shit.

You know who has really great skin? Beck.

Gomez goes on to tell interviewer James Franco