Ugliest front of a car I have ever seen. I’m 73 and I’ve seen a lot of them.

I’m not necessarily opposed to an electric Miata, but there need to be some rules in place before they decide to produce one:

First off...this isnt going to happen, this is Mazda we’re talking about...they cant afford to make this and its not going to sell. Second, why take an (THE) enthusiast car and make it electric? Why not make a dedicated EV coupe so you dont have to worry about restraints of an existing model. Third, back to mazda,…

What about Mazda re-work a variant of the new MX-30 all electric platform tech + small flying Dorito horizontal engine/generator and a 10 gallon tank as a range extender. Small batteries for maybe 90 miles range, and the rotary generator for longer distances. Keep the as light and small as possible, and re-use the…

If Miata is always the answer, what’s the answer when Miata is the question?

Well, of course. It looks just like a pyramid...wait, I meant a triangle, sort of. All I know is the winners are at the top. You want to be a winner, don’t you? 

Wait, I do have a strong desire to control my own destiny. And I also have a phone. This seems too good to be true, do you have a flowchart describing in a simple geometric layout how I can achieve my goals?

LOL. Yes, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to get in on the ground floor with an AMAZING new essential oil that cures both bad breath and cancer. All you need is a phone and the strong desire to control your destiny...

$17K per month you say? In your spare time? Interesting... very interesting. You don’t happen to have a link handy, do you? I might have a look at The Drive after all.

Psh. Been there. Done that. 

So, you didn't buy the minivan.

Tavarish is unwatchable fingernails-on-a-chalkboard now but Demuro is still lovable weirdo Demuro, who actually just bought the “Barbie Gelandewagen” 

No. From now on, Patrick is known as xXxPartyBaby69xXx.

So is this what it has come to? Tune in each Friday to see what great talent has decided to leave?  All the best Patrick. 

Sorry Patrick I didn’t get my roast in to Ballaban in time. You are an amazing editor. Thanks very much for all of your effort in helping me develop as a writer. Most mostly I want to thank you for crashing that Camaro mule into that wall in Detroit. Without your selfless act you would have had no need to hire a pro…

Peace out PG

One time, Patrick invited me to get lunch with him. So we went to Planet Hollywood in Times Square, one door down from Jalopnik HQ. We ordered, then he realized he had a more important meeting to go to, and left me to eat a soggy salad by myself in the most depressingly cheerful restaurant I’ve ever been in.

I’m going to miss you terribly, Patrick. Thanks for the help you’ve given me.

Patrick, I am going to miss you so very much. Thanks for the times where you helped me out of a situation.

This better not be a sign of the Jalopocalypse! Jalopnik is too important!!!