Crazy. While no mother of the year, that Bich didn’t deserve to die.

Artisan farts from a fartesian well

Thanks! Wanna meet at the Four Seasons?

To be fair, the officer reviewing the tapes was short-handed, in that he masturbated furiously while reviewing the hot hot “evidence.”

“...we are protecting their identities while they pursue legal action”

Affirmitively.

Do the Jalopnik folks get this mad when people tweet at them for mechanical expertise, or nah?

Feeling hungry, I slipped the desk agent a $20, and said “I’d like a tossed salad up in my room in about thirty minutes.” Boy was I surprised to have my old rusty trombone oiled and serviced just thirty minutes later, if you know what I mean.

Shawshank? More like Longshank.

Ummm.. K. Looks like you could use that sleep.

Nighty night. Don’t let the white trash fight. (I think that’s how that little rhyme goes)

No need, frined. We both agree that you lied about googling her name. I win by default. Have a good one.

You have to admit, she is so fancy. You already know!

Amber Stephenson is the woman’s name. Are you sure you didn’t just do a search on Stormfront, Mr. Zimmerman?

Are you his father, Mr. Zimmerman?

By posting something publicly online then declaring:

You need to get out of here with those socks pulled up like that.

Couldn’t possibly have. Remember, nothing is funny. ever.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! If you watched her video that she posted in a public online space without her consent then that makes you a rapist. So, like, yeah. So there!

People have died from drinking too much water.