Ooh okay I hope I’m not too late!

Okay, here’s mine. One night, I was staying at my family’s place out in the country. There aren’t many streetlights out there, so it gets really dark, unless there’s a reasonably bright moon, as there was that night. My father and I were looking up at the stars, and we saw this weird thing that looked a bit like a…

Ok for real, when I was like 4 or 5 on the 4th of July while we were waiting for the fireworks to start my parents friends taught me about wishing on stars. They taught me the “star light star bright” wish poem after the first star showed up. I couldn’t think what to wish for so being a kid I wished for horses! Less…

I haven’t seen my ex boyfriend for more than five years and then I ran into him today. I haven’t kept anything solid in my system for two whole days and ran out to walk my dog with no makeup and no bra and smelling vaguely of vomit and bam: ex boyfriend. Running into the worst people at the most in opportune time is…

Here it is.

OK this is a weird thing that I have yet to explain. In 1986 we bought our first house. It was about 50 years old. I hung a bunch of photos in frames that I bought brand new, had never used before. I never took the pictures out of the frames once they were hung. Moved out after some time and packed the photos. I got…

Charles (should not be) In Charge (of his social media accounts).

Charles, take charge of your life; you suck.

What’s especially creepy is she’s taking the picture from behind the saunas closed door. The woman most likely has no clue anyone is in there let alone snapping pics.

Exactly. Exposing girls in the locker room? Chick you’re a grown ass woman.

What follows is worse honestly “Hunt would use the Emoji with the biggest smile to represent the couple" it sounds like they are 5th graders running around with 143 on the backs of their hands (unless that was a my middle school thing in which case 143 stands for I love you and I lived in THAT type of suburb)

“at a Pepsi event celebrating World Emoji Day.”

This sentence makes my orifices bleed.

I googled Dora giggling and well, this is what you get.

VAPER, NO VAPING

I’m just gonna look at it as “teenagers doing teenager stuff” and “rich parents defending them".

This is beautifully written, and I’m so glad you responded with this:

The firefighters’ gators were almost certainly unrelated to one that drowned Lane Graves, because it’s hard for a gator to cross the roadways. Also, why would you go chasing kids when you’re being fed by hand?

I love this though.

Woman writes hit song. Declines to take credit for it until conspiracy theories/obvious logic leads fans/tabloids to the story. Confirms it in one very straightforward sentence because she feels no obligation to protect the fiction she and her ex-boyfriend spun about it. Deserves credit. Did write song.