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If he was going to invade, the least he could have done was taken the IRS’s oil.

“Had a great night. Make 2ure you get your 2hoes from my bathroom.”

Their fundamental disagreement appears to be whether Kaepernick has freedom of speech, or whether he should literally not answer questions. Basically, the black man should just shut up unless it’s about football. Am i hearing this correctly? And that’s a member of the press, right?

I know they don’t sound similar, outside of sounding nasal, but I was picturing Jay Mariotti in my head as I heard Cohn’s voice.

My husband calls it a post-factual world, I call it Idiocracy.

I started physically tearing up when I heard Clinton’s speech in regards to Hispanic Heritage Month because this fuckhead has made my life as a Latino a living hell and made me feel unwelcome in my home goddamn country. I don’t particularly like Clinton! Fuck him

Back when I was convinced that this country would NEVER elect a loudmouth, stupid, clueless, stupid, racist, stupid, bloated, stupid, lying, stupid man, everything was fine.

Anybody else finding themselves sighing frequently, not enjoying things, like ice cream, as much, constantly feeling on the verge of unexpected violent tears? Anyone else get queasy when they turn on the news, cynical when they open their Facebook and wary when strangers start talking in a doctor’s waiting room that…

So one candidate is a known racist with a history of discriminating against minorities and is supported by the KKK, but another candidate got pneumonia so you’re going to call it a draw?

Meanwhile, on Seth Meyers...

As a Game of Thrones fan, I keep picturing Gregor and Sansa walking down the street just like Shaq and his little ass girlfriend in that 2011 photo.

THERE WILL NE NO BESMIRCHING THE GOOD NAME OF PROUD NJ RESIDENT PEDALS MCPICNICBASKET!

+1 metamorphosed bear

+1 apple thrown at Gregor

That same acid trip took me to New Jersey where I’ve been attempting to lay low and blend in to a bipedal world while making travel arrangements back home. You may have seen me on the news:

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic bear. He was lying on his furry, as it were hirsute, back and when he lifted his head a little he could see his formerly bald belly now covered with brown hair on top of which the bed quilt could hardly keep in…

“Nah he just got his bell rung a bit.”

I was waiting for Sarah McLachlan’s In The Arms Of The Angel to start playing. I want to help this bear. Can we help this bear?

A fellow old... nice.