My father was an Oldsmobile man. He learned to drive in his dad’s ‘56 88 and his first new car was a ‘70 Cutlass Supreme.

My dad’s dream car was always a Corvette. He had a lung transplant and the deal was always that he’d get his Corvette if he survived it. He survived it, but life tends to get in the way and he hadn’t gotten the opportunity 7 years later. He had a nasty bout with meningitis, and started having issues with rejection.

Cru…

My dad came back from the second world war and never got one of these. But he would talk about them with reverence. Behold, the Packard:

Throughout his life, my late father pretty much owned almost all his dream cars. A Corvette, a car from the ‘30s (‘32 Oldsmobile) a big-finned ‘50s cruiser (‘57 DeSoto) a Harley (two of them) a great-handling sports car (Austin Healey Sprite and a Datsun 240Z), convertibles (aforementioned Sprite, ‘66 T-Bird, ‘67…

Ever the optimist.

Maybe boat ramps should have a sign with that advice on them.  A good 5-10% might read it.

Tell that to all the bozos who can’t back a boat trailer down the ramp. 

That was definitely transformative in how easy it is to back up a trailer.

It reminds me of Lotus Cars founder Colin Chapman’s advice on making a fast car:

I build my cars to go, not stop!

My high school driving instructor, Mr. Greene, had some advice for me during a drive in the Driver’s Ed car, which was this big ol’ 70's station wagon with wood look vinyl siding and a second brake pedal installed for the instructor.

I found the benefit of the idiot gap when I was driving in the UK about ten years ago. I was behind this old car and its braking lights didn’t work, two or three times the driver braked sharply for no reason, and it was just pure luck and leaving a nice gap that I was able to brake too. Thanks goodness for ABS too.

From my dad: “Never reverse more (further) than you have to. The car is meant to go forward, the second you can, do it.”.

I don’t care how fast your car is, you can’t outrun police radio.
If you hit an animal in the road don’t back up and drive over it again.
Never run the gas gauge down to empty. Those things lie like politicians.
Never fart in the car when on a date. Unless you don’t want a second date.
The ETA on your GPS is not meant…

Don’t stick your dick in crazy or let it stick its dick in you.

When I was about 12 years old my Grandpa gave me a dramatic lesson on easing back onto the road when the wheels drop off the driving surface. He was teaching me to drive his pickup on a long straight Kansas gravel road, when I drifted to the right and the wheels dropped off the side perilously close to the ditch. His…

Keep it between the lines. 

This only applies to racing motorcycles

You forgot this one. Man playing saxophone.