I was at a very cool restaurant in Philly last week, and the waiter, such a cutie, asked whether there were any allergies. I looked him straight in the eye and said, "I'm allergic to crunchy...and red" and I waited to see a flicker of anything across his face. Nothing! The guy was a total pro. He was already starting…

I like trucks for their capabilities of beasts of burden, but deep down I have a perverse affinity to ridiculously powerful vehicles that have no rational reason for being ridiculously powerful.

There is absolutely no reason in the world to put this much power into a pickup truck.

Definitely sounds like you're paying for the name. Not to say it wouldn't be a hella fun thing to drive around in the desert, but Lord knows most of those 50 will be garage queens.

SHE'S ALLERGIC TO CRUNCHY. ...give her crispy, instead.

This story:

The last story... oh I hate people like that. Trying to be professional to those types of people... ughhh

You're not allergic to red OR crunchy?? Lucky dog.

The mother insists that I tell the "head chef" (a guy affectionately named "Big D") to hurry up and bring the kids' food out five minutes before hers arrives (side note: A lot of parents requested this actually. Is that a thing? Like do other restaurants offer this? I'd honestly love to know)

First Responder: Stay still, sir. I’m going to ask you a few questions.

He got his bell rung.

YES! I have been refreshing Kitchenette for the last hour.

"I feel like I'm in a Lexus.." Bitch please. My 03 Lexus had a nicer interior than most 2015/16 GM products. If she thinks a Malibu feels like a Lexus, it might be time for her to upgrade from her '98 Hyundai Accent.

But people will still mistake my Ford for an Aston Martin, right?

Ford will obviously follow the same blueprint they used with the last Ford GT. I can see these appreciating in value just like the old

While I do love my older cars, I can’t deny how very unsafe they are. At some point they are not much safer than riding a motorcycle.

pretty sure that’s a turbo, bro