I think I’ve eaten my body weight in wings this year alone, but I eat wings 2-3 times per week at least.

But that’s where I keep all my stuff though!

I think this is the best work you’ve done here Chris since I’ve been around and following you. Nice job

Can’t have a next Zodiac Killer while the current one is still on the loose.

This will be added to the Texas school curriculum as more proof that evolution is a sham.

I could have sworn that the Canadian firefighters were apologizing at the firenado in that video.

He’s gonna show it now, isn’t he? :-(

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart...

Donald Trump Jr looks like the villain in a movie where the hero is a Golden Retriever 

Nice of the team to let Homeless Conor McGregor answer some questions.

Pretty sure I heard my mom whisper that into the phone a few hours after my dad left to grab some smokes back on Father’s Day 1988.

They get one tie and think they’re too good for him now.

Nathan Peterman: Starting QB, despite his most recent appearance including 5 picks in a half.
Colin Kaepernick: still not even a backup QB in the NFL.

I use the handicap stall every time I poop. It’s always cleaner and I like all the kicking room i gots in there. Really let’s a man relax while he’s trying not to let other people here him loudly fart out sprays of shit in a public bathroom and being labelled as “that guy” as you walk out in shame.

It looks like this ship had already been discovered by South Korea’s Institute of Ocean Science and Technology in 2003. If it really was carrying 10% of the all of the gold ever mined on Earth, you think they might have mentioned it.