The only reason I can think of that this show should exist, is the chance that, someday, they might do a "pseudo-celebrity hole in the wall" and we can see kim kardashian get her big ass stuck.

why does this sound familiar?
One….cut a whole in the wall.

This article makes me wonder
Why aren't Kool & the Gang the most popular band in the world?

Watch out, man. John Walsh is going to track you down, and he and that dude from "Real Stories of the Highway Patrol" who acts like he's on PCP are gonna fuck you up real good for that one.

which only confirms what i've always said…
Slightly below-average to average-size penis is where it's at.

Last Battle will rock
An hour of a donkey and a monkey swimming and talking to each other, and then an hour of brightly colored shit exploding and falling from the sky. I'll need drugs.

Too Bad
Too bad for Andrew they weren't making boxed lunches for The Police. I think Sting would have been really into the fake-rice sushi. And I bet Andrew could do a really good "Roxxxxxannne!"

It's not that he's good looking, per se, it's just that he looks like he would act all petulant and bored in the sack. Like he would rather be doing something else. What's hotter than that?

This week, your dish must incorporate both hill people milk, and Sabor de Soledad.

Was Chance the gay bodybuilder Harvard grad?

I went black.
I'm not going back.
Ev-ah.

perfect storm of irrational rage
Please God, let Bill O'Reilly decide to go into acting, and let his first movie be directed by David O. Russell. The outtakes from that shoot would be magical.

Yeah, I hardly think Kim Kardashian has much credibility when it comes to humanitarian causes, considering how many Bajorans lost their lives waxing her ass.

Just go dig that one can of Bud Light out of your fridge that's been in there for the last twenty years. I'm pretty sure it'll taste about the same.

I hear it's just a long tracking shot of his metal nipples.

I'm a little bit cunt-tree, and a little bit rock and roll.

If enough people say it does, then it does. That's how language works. Get over it.

When the revolution comes, and the Bush family is lined up and shot, please someone remember to get him a stool. It'll just make things go quicker.

another thing
This movie deserves praise for making Gwyneth Paltrow almost tolerable for 120 minutes. I haven't gone so long without hating her since I saw her severed head in a box.

Willard Scott spoke at my high school graduation, and told us that 86 degrees fahrenheit is the perfect temperature to run around naked outside.