There's a chance it'll be a charyou tree but could also be a real Comalla, if it do ya.

I think it would kill you in one sitting.

They're responsible for one of my favorite Onion things ever

That bacon butter caramel bomb has well over 3500 calories with over 250 grams of fat, mostly saturated. It's the equivalent of seven Big Macs worth of fat and calories.

No, the only enlightened way to react to Corey Feldman on the Today Show is with solemn and earnest gratitude followed by an affirming tweet. The man has suffered- a veritable Job- and it is our due to acknowledge his suffering with validation of his music and modeling career. People talk about aid convoys being…

Watching Rubio go full "small hands, dum dum Donald" was I think the closest thing to a negating strategy that might have worked. It came from a place of panic and weakness and was delivered poorly but it really seemed to get under his skin in a way that others couldn't.

I'm definitely near panic. A country with Trump in the executive and Ryan/McConnnel running the legislative and the Supreme Court having been paralyzed means a rapid repeal of Obama's legacy in the first 60 days that will result in serious economic consequences. That's without even implementing Trump's own domestic…

I find that her deadened eyes combined with her father's incestous leanings and her own underlying Elektra Complex really provides us with a historic model: Geli Raubal, Hitler's niece, who may have committed suicide after being forced into coprophilia by her demented uncle.

There's absolutely no reason to think that. She's as vile as they come. Just because she can mouth bland platitudes about "leaning in" and converted to Judaism in order to marry the scion of another shockingly corrupt New York real estate family is no reason to assume she's a closet liberal or even a decent human…

Haha! Trump has now been destroyed by skittles! Amazing that Drumpf even dared to show his shameful head! What, you mean he's polling higher than ever before? He's consolidated a path to electoral college victory and is leading in battleground polls? B-b-but skittles?

It was also literally written by ALEC

You'd be amazed at what Hollywood money can buy. The illegal video surveillance and phone bugging was step one in Anthony Pellicano's usual MO and he was operating in the mid 2000s. I don't think it's too big of a stretch to think that someone else might by carrying the torch of ethically bankrupt celebrity enabler…

Uh, she took 23 pills? Umm… More like not living color? Uh, something something corpse Batman Forever?

The propranolol really jumps out- certainly not a recreational drug. In fact its recently been getting a lot of buzz as a memory altering treatment for PTSD and phobia.

I'd like to see Ridley Scott take on the origin of Robin Hood, maybe with an older Australian actor like Hugh Jackman or Russel Crowe.

Nathan Rabin had a pretty good take on the whole thing on a different website

The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. It was all a dream. I used to read Word Up magazine.
Salt'n'Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine. Hurm.

It's like should I by sad for Errin Hayes for being on this series or happy that she'll be getting fat stacks of network money?

Trump and Geller prove that public shaming only works to a point. If you refuse to concede and just keep plugging along peddling bullshit your supporters will love you more and your detractors will just forget.

Carson's takedown of Uri Geller is a masterpiece of deliberate dismantling with malice aforethought. Few have ever been stuck to with such skill.