Wrong, here’s the real list:

you do realize it doesn't take that long...we are just avoiding doing all sorts of other tasks...smart phones/tablets have only made this 10x worse.

We get it all done while you are getting ready in the bathroom

Please shut the fuck up you mindless drone. Stop parroting every thing you hear on Fox News.

Wow, look at that incompetent figurehead strutting around like he’s doing something of value. Like he’s actually respected by anyone. How do you not have the self-awareness to realize that you suck at your job so much? That you should just quit while you’re behind? Seriously, just show some fucking dignity at this…

God that still fucking haunts me. Especially seeing where that program is now.

Luther Head’s corner 3 in the 2005 title game against UNC.

That goddamn onside kick, stupid Bostick, YOU HAD ONE JOB!

"I think for me and my teammates, it's hard to pull against young people."

"5. Strain the drink into your (ideally pre-chilled) glass"

Just for the hell of it, I would have liked the Raw announce team to go, like, 10 minutes without letting him speak.

It's that whole "work to live, don't live to work" thing. I feel like I've been burned so many times I am almost indifferent at this point. It's expected.

"This is not a drill! It's a hammer and nails... Now let's see if you can actually complete a fucking cross, Tim."

"Thanks to the support of my tremendous family and friends, I have decided I will not be attending the draft this year."

Most dudes go home and beat off after pretty much any encounter with a female. I've been flying half-mast all day since the drive-thru lady asked if I wanted a receipt.

My vote would be B school. In my experience, those folks are the absolute worst of the bunch.

Wherever rugby took him, he always carried the dream of one day playing for Jim Tomsula.

I was going to offer a point by point rebuttal to this but then realized the article was about "famous" athletes, so, yeah, I'll just be on my way now.

snow, icy, furries, frigid, cold, cold, cold.

"Actually, analytics refers to a type of bug that lives in your butt."