There’s only one, hon. 

Oh you better believe we’re organizing some protests there. Honestly for this one it just doesn’t matter if your for Hillary [gross, corrupt, sick] or Bernie [the only good guy] we just need bodies out here protesting. If we can get even just half of the south side to come out that’s nearly 7 million people. We could…

OJ is/was/forever-will-be innocent.

Bernie Sanders is the only one who can defeat ISIS.

I don’t even get how that can happen through the internet bud. This is all so messed.

Dude I’m sorry but I got news for you. If we are gonna beat Trump we need all of us in this together behind the same candidate. And I’m sorry but we are not voting for that mischevious robot Hillary. We need to be in it for Bernie and that starts now.

Bro I am listening for change, same change I was waiting for from Obama but I still can’t hear it. I’m listening but I just can’t hear it. Maybe Obama really did do some change and it’s just like that scene from White Men Can’t Jump where Chris Rock tells Woody H that he’s listening to Jimi but you can’t hear Jimi. So…

Oh yah I know. Just saying teach her so she doesn’t just vote for Hillary because she’s a girl. Hillary has done some bad, bad shit and we need a real political outsider like Bernie. Just saying we really need this revolution.

Dude the Revolucion isn’t going to happen if we’re being babies about this shit.

Huh?

Like take a risk on voting for Bernie instead of Hillary. Hillary is the establishment candidate and Bernie is the outsider we totally need right now. I honestly don’t even respect Hillary anymore after the shit she’s pulled against Obama first and now Bernie.

Beyonce approves of this headline.

If you live in the United States you should be able to vote for your president. That’s a simple fact of life.

Sorry for your loss.

Good.

Does mace work? I have mace on my keychain. I will ask him for a selfie and when he leans in to take it with me I will hold his eyelid open and spray his eyeball with mace. How does that sound?

I’m very dominant with most men as there are very few I respect enough to feel submissive. I hate Ted Cruz, somehow he gets to me. I feel that he is one of the few men that I would be naturally submissive with.

I will vote Hillary, of course, but I would bang Ted.

Now if only all the employees that lost their brain functions and lives because of the NFL’s negligence regarding concussions could get those items back we could all be happy.