I like being alone. I like going to movies alone. For big movies like avengers, I wait a couple weeks, then take a day off work and go at like 11am on a Wednesday. Shits fucking great.

I’m playing Spider-Man as well!Up to 56% done with the main story.

Yeah, Spider-Man! Damn that game ruled.

Nobody can call up the New York Yankees and ask them for Mickey Mantle’s phone number!

The team clarified that next to Theismann’s name is not actually the retired number 7, just a picture of his tibia.

Uh, is this not standard practice for most people now?

No but my 29 year old ass has an anxiety disorder!!!!!! How do you enjoy attempting to antagonize people on Deadspin for little to no reason basically every day?

“I’ve been a part of organizations that had pretty good quarterbacks—Jim Kelly, John Elway, Kerry Collins, Eli Manning, Cam Newton. I’ve led a charmed life with the quarterbacks on the teams I’ve worked for. I know what good ones look like.

“It just felt white, y’know?”

I have great difficulty understanding how pathetic one must be to go to a football stadium to watch the NFL Draft. This is the equivalent of people in the ‘90s camping out in front of their local Tower Records to be the first to buy the new album by, like, Everclear.

“We”? You played for the 2017-18 Caps? Sweet...what was your number and position?

Looks like a slight breeze would break that thing apart. 

Looks like a slight breeze would break that thing apart. 

I knew a guy once. He lost his Lord of the Family status in a best-of-three NBA Jam TE series.

Now his son writes him in as a dependent on his taxes. Boomshakalaka.

But the absolute cruelest thing a pitcher can do is smoke three guys with one 99 mph fastball.

What time does “What Time Does Game of Thrones Start” start?

You overestimate Davey Martinez’s managerial skills, sir.

What rhetoric? Are you fucking kidding? She’s pointing out basic objective facts and people are threatening to kill her. Who the fuck ungreyed you?

your moms over rated