Tacky alarm clock, you say?

I'm 23, but I know I'm an adult because in my wardrobe I have a plastic bag with a load of plastic bags crunched up within. I will need all of them one day. Nobody can take them away from me.

By the time you're 40 you can add to this list:

We've faced a lot of hardships in the last 9 years (& a lot of blessings), but even when we 'hate' each other we still love each other.

Ironically, it is only logically possible to personalize a closet if you have no personality.

Oh! And my Go Bag came in super handy when I left that psycho, too :-) $585, passport, 3 days of clothes

We don't have a closet. We have a clothes-pile. It's made of gym clothes, kimonos, and many, many books. There might be some rats under there. I don't know. It's been a while since I've gotten to the bottom of it.

My closet is partially packed away in my parents attic... I've been a nomad for so long that perhaps when I actually turn 30 later this year I should live in a place where I actually own the furniture? HA like that's gonna happen.

Oh, thank God. I saw the headline and went:

My husband was also my high school sweetheart for 3 years, and back in the day he was a super prolific love letter writer - 5-8 page letters, written on scrolled paper & tied with red ribbons - they were FANTASTIC. We broke up & went our separate ways for 10 years, during which time I married another [really horrible]…

After reading the MC article, all I can think of is Dong from The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt screaming "YOUR EXPERIENCES ARE NOT UNIVERSAL!!" at the snooty rich guy.

Things You Should Have In Your Closet By The Time You Are 30:

I wore my slutty dress once.

Also, can we talk about how hilarious the original article is?

I also have a slutty dress that I bought 2 years ago and never worn. If I ever get flat abs (haha, no, maybe Spanx) then it's on!/

I'm sorry, did I wander into some parallel hedge fund universe where we all have walk-in closets? Were I to step into my closet I would promptly knock myself unconscious by hitting my head on the overstuffed hanging rod. When I awoke I would surely find myself covered in scattered "pliios" and "designer pima cotton…

The Marie Claire article kind of sounds like my dream closet tbh but it also sounds like it only works for a giant walk in closet. It was not written for people who live in 500 square foot apartments.

I had to take a Red Cross disaster preparedness class in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. They recommended making a Go Bag as well!

A lot of this stuff sounds like things I have in my childhood/teen bedroom at my parent's house: embarassing CDs - check. part of a mannequin - check. wigs - check. love letters in the form of old instant messenger printouts - check.