The world needs more like you.

Pretending to be a Christian for the past seventeen years. There's just no right moment to tell your loving parents, grandparents and extended family that you're going to burn in hell for all eternity.

I don't know if it's the biggest lie, but it's the most satisfactory and convincing one I ever told.

To my ex...."it's not small..." (reality...hung like a light switch....I now have standards lol)

I don't know if it's the biggest whopper, but it's definitely the most entertaining one.

Cheating with the boyfriend of one of my best friends at the time. They had been a couple for five or six years and she took a job in another province. We saw her off at the airport and left together. At that point was innocent but within days we were flirting and spending a ton of time together and it just…

Not my lie, my wife's. She got away with telling me that she wasn't attracted to me like that for five years after she transferred away from the college we met at. We talked a lot over those five years, and I only found out because she confessed. We've lived together for 7 now, been married for 2, and our son is…

"No, Mr. Best Friend's Dad, we have no idea why the couch in your apartment smells like beer and vomit, who broke your pool table, why your upstairs bathroom flooded, or who stole your tequila. Weird how all that happened while we were safe and sound at Best Friend's house after prom, innocently playing Monopoly."

It…

I tell the same lie weekly, if not daily. "There is nothing to panic about right now." I have quite a few patients that suffer from anxiety. It tends to calm people who are in a spin of panic, and they can't focus. I know good and goddamned well that they may very well actually have something going on that is worthy…

This isn't a solo lie, but I was once given a "gentlemen's A" on a semester of high school. I did zero work. The teacher gave me an A, despite a gentlemen's C being the more common arrangement. My mom was really pleased, and I've never told anybody.

"I love you."

When I was transferring from CC to a four-year, I failed two classes right before the transfer. They were gen eds (stats and speech - my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I stopped attending classes) but they were supposed to be used as transfer credit. I didn't tell anyone I failed them and no one checked, so I went…

My fiance and I eloped on Halloween and then proceeded to get married the next year as though we were still single. Basically because his dad offered to pay for our whole wedding. How could we say no to that? Of course, if we had been offered cold hard cash instead of a wedding, obvs we would have taken that.

This is a lie I THOUGHT I got away with. The summer before third grade my two best friends and I liked to ride around our neighborhood, which was being built, and explore. One afternoon we were exploring a house which had the frame up but not much else. Obviously this was dangerous and expressly forbidden. Exploring…

When I was 13, my parents were on their way home from Vegas and wouldn't be back until after 4:00 AM. My brother, who was 17, knew he would be in trouble when they got home, because he had crashed my mom's car when they were gone. He decided to go out on his last night of freedom, and I stayed home. A couple of his…

I know I've got an answer to this question somewhere in my past, but I think I've filed all those memories under 'DNR' and they have been summarily repressed.

This is BAD and I will carry this to my grave.

I don't know if I can say I got away with the lie, as technically I 'fessed up, but I carried it out over a period of 3 years, and even now no one knows except for 3 people.

Probably not the worst lie because my karma loving self is refusing to remember it, but during high school I got away with some major stupid shit. One example is that I completely forgot about showing up for a final exam and when the teacher called me in for me to explain myself I gave him a bullshit story about how…

My mother denied I was her daughter after I threw up on a Holiday Inn Welcome mat when I was six. Someone asked her if I was her child and she was so embarrassed she said no. My father was dealing with me and came up at that point and announced Deerlady just threw up. I think the person gave her a horrified look. I…