I've never met Phil, but I know I like him.

These pictures make me reallllly feel sorry for JPP. All the money in the world isn't bringing those fingers back.

And this is why I don't try to build clocks in my spare time.

Before today, I never worried that I was going to be mauled by a lion. Thanks a bunch.

It's too bad this guy takes himself so seriously. He could have a lot more fun in life if he'd just let his pretenses go.

With as poorly as I skate, it'd be tough for me to perform a more appropriate song than "Free Fallin'" while on the ice.

That's a long time to go through life without being named.

Maybe it’s the beers working their magic, but that made me guffaw.

That is some fucked up magic show!

Manbabbies are the worst of man.

Sounds like my high school girlfriend - after we had sex the first time, she announced her celibacy.

There's a hyphen missing in the headline.

I just wish the audio were still there. That's why I prefer my Windows Media Center PC for football rather than my TiVo - I get through the games that much faster, it's more responsive, and I still get to hear inane commentary.

Ugh, so much this. I have four kinds of DVRs in my house, and my Windows Media Center PC is my preferred device for watching football, and it's exactly for this reason - I can skip the replay and inaction between plays. The only time it gets difficult is when a team's going no-huddle. Also, I like watching football…

Doc’s going all out this year. He’s done 3-2 a few times, and last year he finally got 3-1. This year, he’s gonna done what experts have said is impossible - he’s going to lose a series after being up 3-0. Go, Doc go! Go, Doc go! Go, Doc go!

In July/August 1996 (right before we started our freshman years of college several hundred miles apart), my buddy and I rented a PlayStation and three games - Twisted Metal, Gex, and Resident Evil. We quickly found out that, while TM and Gex were fun, Resident Evil was where our gaming time was going to be spent. We…

Those breasts move so realistically, like so many bags of sand.

Nice. Because of their nickname, it’s both racist and sexist to suggest that the ladies stop squabbling.

It IS a slice.

Way to take the air out of the conversation.