Oh, I'm sure you have some redeeming qualities, Eddie. Kanye, on the other hand, I can't think of one.

The easiest solution for a reboot of Married with Children would be "I Married a Bundy" with Christina Applegate as the new Peg, Ed and Katey as the Bundy grandparents and David as Uncle Bud, former internet millionaire, perpetually broke due to alimony paid out to dozens of ex-wives.

I'm looking for a woman that would refer to herself as "one tasty piece of bitch". And Joan's right, she is.

Well that's O.K., I guess.

"This cow doesn't just get busy, she gets 'bizz—ay!'"

Paul Reubins didn't touch anyone but himself and look where that got him.