But Sedans - the ultimate automotive compromise - are touted as being the best thing every at Jalopnik.

Agreed. Make the same graphic with sedans and it would be just as apt. 

In a culture that expects all women to be nurturing and caring and want to be liked at all, this is easier said than done but worth the effort:

1st: do the Certified Elite get a blue checkmark?

It looks like someone smoothed out a 3d model of a PT Cruiser.

make a bigger one and call it the Grand Cruiser

:obligatory ‘There Can Be Only One’ Highlander joke:

Automobiles in the US have been more about appealing to our emotions than meeting our needs in the most efficient manner for almost 100 years. That’s not going to change quickly, it’s going to be decades. 

I’m pretty sure that Chris Pratt gets dibs on the role. 

... and here to talk with us in a special one-hour prime-time interview about their new book, “I Have Been Silenced” we have cancelled best-selling author ...

I do not believe that simply adding liquid to a solid makes soup. 

Buyers: I really like the headroom, roomy feeling and cargo space a more upright crossover hatchback gives me.

It looks very sleek, but that steep rake would have me hitting my head every time I got in and out of it. Plus visibility looks awful. 

Toyota Matrix XR with a manual transmission

Allegedly, he had committed the crime of “criminal mischief,” which involves “recklessly damaging property over $250.”

Tesla choosing aesthetic over function?

No, the Envision is their compact CUV

I appreciate people who say they are Dave Chappelle fans the same way I appreciate people who display the Confederate flag - thank you for letting me know you are someone to be avoided. 

I like it. Less sun needlessly baking asphalt.

In the US, many people will say these kinds of jobs don’t warrant a living wage because they are for “high school and college students”.