Bill Simmons created the platform that you now use to slander him - internet blogs.

Eh, he’s not really saying that at all. He’s saying that it’s hard to tell if the essential aspects are accurate because the article glosses over them too quickly, without laying a proper foundation. And the reason why it had to do that was because it was making space to talk about less essential aspects. The article…

I see your point, but that’s not actually what the word “holiday” means. I am not Jewish, but I still think of Hanukkah as a holiday, because it is, in fact, a holiday. It may not be a holiday I personally celebrate, but it’s for sure a holiday!

“There ain’t no North Pole, thus there ain’t no Christmas”

It’s just cheating, dude. Belicheck has figured out time travel and see what’s going to happen and then goes back in time and picks a humiliating way for the other team to lose.

first season prediction: they maximize myriad robust synergies whilst simultaneously leveraging pre-existing yet forward looking infrastructure methodologies. also, lose a lot.

An appropriate suspension for Gronk would be 1 game, plus the first 9 minutes of the following game.

Cashier: Are you guys gonna rob the store?

Things won’t be easier for him when he gets to central PA. He is going to be in deep Sheetz.

Yo soy caballo

A truly successful coach was already getting away with having Schiano as his defensive coordinator.

Was this really solely, or even primarily, McDermott’s decision though?

Atlanta sports! When you want to see a huge collapse you get this. When you don’t want to see a huge collapse, you get Super Bowl 51.

pretty sure Keith Null is a prank by a database guy

“if we evolved from monkeys, why are there monkeys?”

It really says something about the shkrelification of the health care industry in this country that “health insurance” is a demand listed alongside “fifty million dollars a year” and “my own jet.”

It is worth noting that—as much of a worthless stain as Goodell is—Jones is lightyears worse. He is an absolute piece of shit. Not that I think that Goodell is worth the money he’s going to eventually going to be paid, but in a vacuum, he has performed well (by the metrics of his bosses, the owners), and has made…

These always come off as goofy to me instead of bad ass.

Your 10 year old is not a millennial. We’re like fucking 30 now dude.

For what it’s worth I think MLB would be better off with a 100 game schedule, and the NBA with a 60 game schedule. They would lose too much money, so it’ll never happen, but it gives more of a breather for the fans and every game is much more important. With a 100 game baseball schedule, every loss hurts. Badly. Every…